Man: I’m too old for overnight adventures.
Woman: You’re too married.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/359834371/that-too‑2.html
Overheard by: garage girl #1
Archive for the ‘Age and ageing’ Category
Anyone Wanna Teabag?
Dude, after receiving dickhead hat on 50th birthday: Hey, look! My double chin looks like a pair of balls in a nutsack!
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Tiger Fan
Why Is There One In Your Office?
Thesis advisor to uncomfortable-looking advisees: You girls might be too young for it, but if you ever have the chance to have sex on a water bed, you should do it.
Colgate University
Madison County, New York
We Smell the Plot Of a New Indiana Jones Movie!
Mini-skirt girl: Her name is Pearl, so she’s either an 80-year-old white lady from Connecticut…
Suit: Or an 18-year-old, French-speaking lieutenant in an Asian motorcycle gang.
Mini-skirt girl: Yours is weirdly specific.
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Agreed
DeadSpace!
Friend #1: God! Old people get so pissy when they don’t get their obituaries on time.
Friend #2: Why?
Friend #1: Because they want to know which of their friends has died that week.
Friend #2: Oh, so it’s like Facebook for the elderly!
Memorial Hospital
Sudbury
Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Dani
Would You Say It While Brandishing a Riding Crop?
35-year-old man: Do you know what I did for you? I left my home, my wife. I cheated because I was cheated on, I know what that’s like. You’re turning 30, you need a man, what’s a woman at 30? You’re alone!
28-year-old woman: You’re having a midlife crisis. Women don’t get those. I’m there for you, like, “you should stop at three drinks because you’re a terrible drunk.“
35-year-old man: You’d do that for me?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Matt
…Even Though It’s Shaped Like St. Peter?
Girlfriend, excited: I know exactly what I’m going to get you for your birthday this year.
Boyfriend: Oh yeah? I know exactly what I am going to get you for your birthday.
Girlfriend: Really? Are you going to get that thing cut off your back?
Cafe
Sydney
Australia
I Hate When They Do It While You’re Driving, and You Can’t See the Road
Frustrated gamer playing The Legend of Zelda: Did you see that? She’s such a slut! Her vagina was just totally up in link’s face. And he’s like, twelve. Why are women like that all the time?
University of Massachusetts
Overheard by: the girl in the corner cramming for finals
The Cautionary Tale That Elizabeth Taylor Has Taught Us All
Girl to friends: I mean, think about it: a girl that’s pretty now could be ugly in ten years.
Crested Butte, Colorado
Overheard by: Wow.
Amen, Sister
Coworker, about Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve: For people our age it’s just not New Year’s until we see Dick.
Sanford, Florida
