Age and ageing

35-year-old man: Do you know what I did for you? I left my home, my wife. I cheated because I was cheated on, I know what that's like. You're turning 30, you need a man, what's a woman at 30? You're alone!
28-year-old woman: You're having a midlife crisis. Women don't get those. I'm there for you, like, “you should stop at three drinks because you're a terrible drunk.”
35-year-old man: You'd do that for me?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Matt

Girlfriend, excited: I know exactly what I'm going to get you for your birthday this year.
Boyfriend: Oh yeah? I know exactly what I am going to get you for your birthday.
Girlfriend: Really? Are you going to get that thing cut off your back?

Cafe
Sydney
Australia

Frustrated gamer playing The Legend of Zelda: Did you see that? She's such a slut! Her vagina was just totally up in link's face. And he's like, twelve. Why are women like that all the time?

University of Massachusetts

Overheard by: the girl in the corner cramming for finals

Girl to friends: I mean, think about it: a girl that's pretty now could be ugly in ten years.

Crested Butte, Colorado

Overheard by: Wow.

Guy on cell: You realize it is old people's only duty to die to get out of the way right?

International Airport
Louisville, Kentucky

Old lady #1: I've never liked her!
Old lady #2: She was a shit at school, and she's a shit now.

West Midlands
England

College guy, watching little girl in husky cheerleader outfit: What's with all these cheerleaders everywhere? I like it!
Female friend: Dude, that sounded kind of wrong, she's like six.
College guy: Yeah… I just realized that.

UW Husky Tailgate
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Face

White girl to Hispanic chick: I swear, in 5th grade you were, like, white.
Hispanic chick: White, like, acted white? Or white like white skin?
White girl: Like, white. Weren't you ever white?

Panera Bread
Fairlawn, New Jersey

Overheard by: Siberia

Dude: You have a sister, right?
Chick: Yeah.
Dude: Is she hot?
Chick: She’s 12 and shaped like a rectangle.
Dude: That doesn’t answer my question.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

18-year-old girl to 20-year-old girl: The Declaration of Independence looks really old and faded. How old is it?

National Archives
Washington, DC