Girl: I always clean the sheets. You never notice, but I always clean the sheets.
Guy: What? We don’t even have sheets on the bed right now.
Girl: And do you want to know why we don’t have sheets on the bed? Because the other night, after you’d bled on them–
Guy: –I bled on them because you kicked me.
Girl: I did not kick you! It was that mole — that mole that started bleeding, which I’m very concerned about, by the way. Your mole shouldn’t just start bleeding like that. But anyway, I had just cleaned the sheets, and then your mole bled on them, and I went to clean them again and I thought, ‘Why don’t I see how long it would take him to notice there aren’t even sheets on the bed?’ So that’s why we haven’t had sheets on the bed for a month.

12th and Locust
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania