Friend #1: Do you re­mem­ber when we were lit­tle and I used to show the neigh­bor’s boys my boobs so they’d give me can­dy? Bet you’re glad I stopped do­ing that!
Friend #2: What are you talk­ing about? The on­ly thing that’s changed is your form of pay­ment! You just fin­ished telling every­one not two min­utes ago how last week you won $200 on am­a­teur’s night when you went to the strip club with the guys!

Eau Claire, Wis­con­sin