Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an ear­ly Christ­mas present?
Moth­er: What, hon­ey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it’s pur­ple!
Moth­er: Jeez, your dork-o-me­ter is in the red.

MAR­TA Train
At­lanta, Geor­gia