Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it’s a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j‑j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That’s only for guys. And in the Amazon!

Redding, California