Red-head­ed friend to blonde friend: If I had a spe­cial pow­er it would be to fly!
Blonde friend, se­ri­ous­ly: If I had a spe­cial pow­er I would have a mi­crowave in my mouth so that I could cook any­thing I want­ed, when­ev­er I want­ed.
Red-head­ed friend: You could nev­er get sal­mo­nel­la again!
Blonde friend: I know, right? It’s my best idea yet!

Canada’s Won­der­land