Cowork­er: Where were you? You were meant to be in work at 7!
Drunk Slo­va­kian guy ar­riv­ing at work: I drank Jack Daniels un­til 5 this morn­ing, then went to bed. I woke at nine and fucked Jane, then got my broth­er to drop me off at work.

North­ern Ire­land