Drunk girl: I teach! I teach AP bio kids. They ask so many smart ques­tions. (thought­ful pause) I make things up all the time.
Friend: You make things up??
Drunk girl: I just say “ac­cord­ing to my re­search.” (shrugs, laughs hys­ter­i­cal­ly)

Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia