Thank Goodness I Had That Removed

Professor: So a nasal quality of voice would be–you all know who Fran Drescher is, right?
Emo kid: She hurts my soul.

Memorial University, St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Your Editors Fear This Conversation May Reduce Ms. Bilson to Tears

College girl #1: So did I tell you I’m going on a celibacy kick this semester? To cleanse myself.
College girl #2: Oh, really?
College girl #1, picking up GQ magazine with Rachel Bilson on the cover: Ugh, I’ve lost all respect for her. She’s such a slut.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Lindsay

Naturally, It’s Huge

Young mom, looking disgusted at a paparazzi photo of Pamela Anderson: That’s disgusting.
Four-year-old son: What?
Young mom: Honey, what’s wrong with this picture?
Four-year-old son: I can see her penis.

Bowling Alley
Indiana

Overheard by: Aunt Oblivious

Amen, Sister

Coworker, about Dick Clark's New Year's Eve: For people our age it's just not New Year's until we see Dick.

Sanford, Florida

Playing Boggle Again?

Gay goth kid: Diana Ross, what are you doing in my mouth?

Dunkin Donuts
Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: hootinanny

…As the Queen Said at Her Eulogy.

Teenage boy, about princess Diana: Dude, she was like Mother Teresa, just with better tits!

Palm Harbor
Florida

Overheard by: Jedtheavenger

…So Just Let Me Trim the Ellen Haircut Already!

Annoyed teenage boy to girlfriend: You've got to understand that I'm never going to be Justin Bieber!

London
England

Overheard by: KK

Someone’s Been Reading People at the Dentist’s Office

Mom: Did you hear that Harry Lee died?
20-something daughter: Yea, and Sylvester Stallone came to the funeral, I thought that was odd.
Previously uninterested dad: Interesting fact about Sylvester Stallone- he has a penial implant.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Hope You Bitches Saved Me Some Weed

Mom: Why is the tv on with the mute on?
Daughter #1: Cause of the pretty moving pictures!
Daughter #2: Yeah! It's like an aquarium, but with Tom Hanks.

Upper Hutt
New Zealand

Overheard by: Kat

But We Should Probably Spread That Rumor Just in Case

Skinny white guy: Yep.
Goth girl: No way.
Skinny white guy: Yep.
Goth girl: No way. Too royal.
Skinny white guy: I’m serious.
Goth girl: No way. Princess Di was way too perfect to be giving someone head while they’re driving.