Excited hipster guy on cell: Dude, you just missed Wyclef Jean! He was fucking awesome! He dry-humped me and everything!
Voodoo Music Fest
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Eliza
Archive for the ‘About celebrities’ Category
So Get Out Your Helmets
Little girl in changing stall: I feel a Britney Spears moment coming on!
Salvation Army
Hadley, Massachusetts
Like Fat Elvis!
Grandmother to little boy: Elvis! Come here, we’re going. (to store person) His mother was a big Elvis fan, so now he’s a little Elvis.
Little boy: I have hair on my back!
Brisbane
Australia
…Is What I’ll Be Saying About Winston Churchill in My Report
Random guy: He’s like a cross between Michael Jackson and a Swiss Army knife.
University
England
I Catalog Them by Penis Size and Strange Bodily Features
Redhead: You seriously don’t know where Bruce Willis was born?
Brunette: No.
Redhead: I can tell you where half the actors I’m in love with were born.
Brunette: Honey, I can’t even tell you where half the men I’ve slept with were born.
Redhead: That’s true.
Brunette: Hell, I’m lucky if I remember their last names.
Fredericksburg, Virginia
According to a Priest and a Rabbi I Met in a Bar Once
Goth girl wearing blue beehive wig: So Morgan Freeman, a college professor, and a hot guy walk into a ska club.
Friend: And?
Goth girl: Oh, there’s no punchline, that actually happened.
Denver, Colorado
A Plague on Both Their Home Courts!
Chick #1: Mike Dunleavy went to a Catholic school, and Troy Murphy went to a Jesuit school.
Chick #2: They’re star-crossed lovers! One is a Catholic, the other a Jesuit!
Pepsi Center
Denver, Colorado
That Guy Is Always Purple Raining on Our Parade.
Museum employee: I’m from Minnesota, originally.
Guy: I lived in Minnesota for a while, a long time back. Nice place, but there was way too much of that one guy. You know, that guy? The little guy? With “purple …”?
Museum employee: …Prince?
Guy: Yeah, that’s the one.
Art Museum
Denver, Colorado
And You Could Actually Sing
Guy to girl: You know, Mandy Moore made a bad decision going brunette. Now she looks like you, if you were a crack whore.
Oberlin College
Oberlin, Ohio
Overheard by: emily
Aren’t You Wendy from Season One?
Barista #1: Yeah, Joey does a great Tim Gunn impression. You should ask him to do it for you.
Barista #2: I will. So you really like Project Runway?
Barista #1: Oh my god, yes! Like, I should totally be on that show.
Barista #2: Yeah? Do you do fashion design?
Barista #1: Well, no. But I dress myself really well. And I have really good ideas. But I can’t really sew or anything.
Starbucks
Fairborn, Ohio
Overheard by: Barista #3
