Oh, Biblically.

Five-year-old girl, pointing to picture on cup: Who's that?
Babysitter: That's Ronald McDonald.
Five-year-old girl: Oh… How do you know him?

McDonald's
Manhattan, New York

Fucking Paperwork

20-something client: How do you spell “Matthew?”
Confused staff: Matthew? As in a person's name? Like “Matthew Perry” Matthew?
20-something: Yeah, it's my middle name and I want to put it on my resume. Does it have two t's or one?

Unemployment Centre
Ontario
Canadia

The Character Was So Lifelike

Older lady: Heath Ledger was The Joker? Boy, I never would have guessed that!

Movie Theater
Champaign-Urbana, Illinois

Which Also Influences My Sleep Patterns and the Santa Ana Winds

Male student: I feel that this case may have been influenced by the fact that…well, people just hate Michael Bolton.

Seton Hall Law School
South Orange, New Jersey

Overheard by: he's got a point

And Don’t Even Get Me Started on Bob Barker

Teenage daughter: You just know Chuck Woolery was banging every chick on Love Connection.
Mother: Not in front of the 12-year-olds!
Teenage daughter: I dunno, Chuck Woolery is a pretty sick son of a bitch.

Grocery Store Parking Lot
Littleton, Colorado

He Was a Sore Loser after the Electric Guitar Contest

Crazy: Satan killed Jimi Hendrix!

Outside El Macombo
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

To Fight Convention?

Tall goth girl to rotund, geeky friend: She’s a fat black goth! Kinda like if you, me, and Bill Cosby joined forces.

Denver, Colorado

Go a Few Miles South and That’s Punishable by Death

Child: Who’s Elvis?
Mother, not paying attention: I don’t know.
Concerned old lady nearby, to mother: You don’t know who Elvis is, honey?

Cincinnati, Ohio

…Would You Like to Go Out With Us This Friday?

Freshman boy trying to flirt with girl: I'm from Boston and he's from Boston and he's Chinese and he likes Bruce Lee, naked, naked, naked. (pokes Chinese friend)

University Library
Binghamton, New York

Overheard by: Brianna

Your Editors Fear This Conversation May Reduce Ms. Bilson to Tears

College girl #1: So did I tell you I’m going on a celibacy kick this semester? To cleanse myself.
College girl #2: Oh, really?
College girl #1, picking up GQ magazine with Rachel Bilson on the cover: Ugh, I’ve lost all respect for her. She’s such a slut.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Lindsay