Girl: So Natalie Portman is speaking tonight. I want to go.
Boy: What is it about?
Girl: Poverty, but who cares? It’s Natalie Portman.
Boy: Yeah, fuck poverty, she’s hot.
University
Berkeley, California
Archive for the ‘About celebrities’ Category
Then He Came Back As a Zombie
Kid #1: Michael Jackson? I think he died.
Kid #2: He died?
Kid #1: Yeah. He killed someone and then he died.
Kid #2: Oh, yeah, I remember.
Golden Corral
Tulsa, Oklahoma
And Don’t Even Get Me Started on Bob Barker
Teenage daughter: You just know Chuck Woolery was banging every chick on Love Connection.
Mother: Not in front of the 12-year-olds!
Teenage daughter: I dunno, Chuck Woolery is a pretty sick son of a bitch.
Grocery Store Parking Lot
Littleton, Colorado
Why Sherry Got Fired from Her Movie Critic Gig
Girl watching Christian Bale in The Dark Knight: If I had a cock I'd so fuck him in the mouth. Racine, Wisconsin
So Do We.
20-something girl on cell: I had the malpractice ball this last weekend. It was in the Weisman Museum… kind of lame, not a lot of space. (pause) But I didn't bring a flask this year, so it was a little conservative, definitely a limited amount of alcohol. (pause) Are you going home for Passover? (pause) Oh my, are you converting? (pause) Yeah, I want to know what this whole Jerry Springer photo thing is all about. http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/267290968/do-you-really.html Overheard by: burrhead
He’s Got to Be More Careful with His Fingering!
Dave Matthews Band groupie: Dude, the violinist totally screwed Dave up. He, like, totally blew his wad all over Dave’s song!
Starwood Amphitheater merchandise stand
Nashville, Tennessee
We Challenge You to Come Up with a Better Description
Brunette hipster: Who’s Mario Batali?
Blonde hipster: You know, that red-haired chef that looks like he’d smell like ass.
Brunette hipster: Oh, okay. Yeah. Totally.
Toi
Los Angeles, California
Men Are Easily Distracted
Man: You know the black guy from Transformers? You know who I'm talking about?
Woman: Megan Fox?
Man: Yeah.
Holland, Michigan
Why Gay Best Friends Were Invented
[Two 20-something guys are staring at Colleen Moore’s ornate fairy castle dollhouse.]
Guy #1: Oh, man.
Guy #2: No man on earth could have ever kept this woman happy.
Museum of Science and Industry
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Joan
…So Just Let Me Trim the Ellen Haircut Already!
Annoyed teenage boy to girlfriend: You've got to understand that I'm never going to be Justin Bieber!
London
England
Overheard by: KK