Archive for the ‘Advice’ Category

He’s Talk­ing about Date Rape

Ghet­to girl: Yo, I can’t wait to get back to my dorm and just take a nap.
Ghet­to guy: Heh… Well, you know, just don’t let that nap turn in­to, you know, some sleep… Y’­know what I mean?
Ghet­to girl: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Rut­gers Uni­ver­si­ty
New Brunswick, New Jer­sey

Do You Think I Would Fail His Class?

Asian hip­ster: Peo­ple stare at him, and he re­sents them for star­ing at him. But I’m like, ‘Maybe you should bathe!‘
Jew­ish hip­ster: You should give him an ele­phant tran­quil­iz­er or some­thing.

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/05/people-in-valley-like-elephants-what-is.html

Over­heard by: Glowien

This Is Why I Di­vorced Your Fa­ther

Moth­er to child: You need to get up off the floor.
Kid: No!
(small dog ap­proach­es, starts lick­ing kid’s face)
(kid laughs as moth­er be­comes even an­gri­er, then dog be­gins hump­ing kid)
Kid: Get him off me, get him off me!
Moth­er, calm­ly: See? This is what hap­pens when you lie on the floor. This is why we can’t lay down on the floor.

Port­land, Maine

It’ll Pop Up Again in the Spring

Guy #1: Are you gonna get test­ed?
Guy #2: I think the Lau­ren thing pret­ty much takes care of it.
Guy #3: You should still get test­ed.
Guy #2: Yeeeah, but I don’t like get­ting blood tak­en from me and I don’t have any like, symp­toms, so…
Guy #3: Well, I haven’t seen your pe­nis.

Si­mon Fras­er Uni­ver­si­ty
British Co­lum­bia
Cana­dia