Five-year boy in front of a door: (frantically) Which one? I have to go!
Exasperated mother: The men’s room.
Little boy: Which one?!
Mother: That one (points) and that’s why you need to learn to read.
Barnes & Noble
Cary, North Carolina
Archive for the ‘Advice’ Category
It’ll Pop Up Again in the Spring
Guy #1: Are you gonna get tested?
Guy #2: I think the Lauren thing pretty much takes care of it.
Guy #3: You should still get tested.
Guy #2: Yeeeah, but I don’t like getting blood taken from me and I don’t have any like, symptoms, so…
Guy #3: Well, I haven’t seen your penis.
Simon Fraser University
British Columbia
Canadia
For Some Reason, Nobody Ever Listens to Cassandra
Loud girl on cell: Don’t you think he might just be settling for you because he don’t have no other choice? (pause) What I mean is, he’s only marrying you because he can’t find no one better? (pause) This is what I’m talkin’ about. You don’t know nothing. He don’t want to marry you. He just is cause he ain’t got nothing better to do. (pause) Yes, I am serious. Don’t take that tone with me. I know what I’m talkin’ about!
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
For a Little Vienna Sausage
Teenage girl: It’s like every time we get close he backs out. I can’t help to think it has something to do with his penis size.
Friend: Next time just throw him over your shoulder and take him back to the cave.
Santee, California
Overheard by: Story of my life
He Doesn’t See That Purple Monkey… and I Do.
Professor: I urge you to visit the TA as well, because we have complementary viewpoints. For example, he’s with it… and I’m not.
UNC-Chapel Hill
North Carolina
Overheard by: Li’l Bit
The Limbo Is Not a Man’s Game, Son.
Mother to little boy: Stop that! You’re gonna hurt your scrotum!
Boston, Massachusetts
…As We Learned at Basic Training.
Marine: Don’t waste good Fun Dip! That’s like slapping Jesus in the face!
Camp Leatherneck
Afghanistan
Overheard by: Justus
Unless You Like Zima
Dude to two chicks: So, my friends are really nice… Just don’t accept any drinks from them.
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/03/for-they-will-only-buy-you-labatt-50.html
Overheard by: nate
…From the Great Beyond
Girl #1: Dude, my phone is ringing but I don’t want to pick it up…I’m too high right now.
Girl #2: Pick it up, it may be important.
Girl #1 (picking it up): Hello? (hangs up)
Girl #2: Well, who was it?
Girl #1: I don’t know, just a bunch of voices.
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: Zboots1
Um, Is That Lipstick on Your Teeth?
Girl #1: That’s bad luck!
Girl #2: What’s bad luck?
Girl #1: Putting purses on your floor. You might as well put your menstrual blood on your face!
www.overheardatyale.blogspot.com
