Teenage girl #1: He hates me.
Teenage girl #2: He doesn’t hate you. Maybe you should just say “hi” to him.
Teenage girl #1: How am I supposed to say “hi”? I have voices in my head saying “I want cheeseburgers”!
Canberra
Australia
Archive for the ‘Advice’ Category
It Says Here the Mule Consented?
Cop: You know there’s a warrant out for your arrest, right?
Guy with arm in cast: Oh, really?
Cop: Yeah… So we should probably have a chat about that.
Town Court
Duanesburg, New York
Overheard by: 91 in a 65
Weren’t We Fencing?
30-something male drunk: You’re not my mother!
20-something female drunk: I’m not your mother. I’m just telling you that it’s not okay to grunt and lunge at people.
Pacifica, California
Overheard by: Slightly
I’ve Practiced on My Lifesized “Seven of Nine” Doll
Nerdy teen #1: So you just sort of put your hands down her pants and rub up behind her.
Nerdy teen #2 (nodding): Yeah. I know what you mean.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: iloveholidays
“Parties” Involve Group Sex
Yuppie blonde: So I told him, I was like, ‘Don’t call it a party, you know? Just say you’re getting drunk!‘
Yuppie brunette: Exactly.
24 Hour Fitness
Denver, Colorado
All Those Slip-and-Fall Accidents Are Smitings
Religion teacher to class of girls: And remember girls, always wear a bikini in the shower, because god is always watching you.
Dublin
Ireland
Though I Would Advise Against Googling the TA. *Shudder*
Professor: So I was looking through your online homework and I tried out the first question and I got it wrong. So I suggest you google the answer. You can find anything on google.
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Condones This
And I’d Stay Away from Nestle’s, Too
Little girl reaches towards a sheep as it poops.
Little boy: Nooo! Stop! Don’t touch those raisinets! You can’t eat a sheep’s raisinets!
Birmingham Zoo
Alabama
And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days
Guy in suit: I said, “It’s better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now.”
Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jo
You Can’t Shame Me Into the Army
College guy: I’m scared!
College girl: Just do it!
College guy: No, I’m scared!
College girl: Be a man!
College guy: I don’t wanna!
Salisbury, Maryland
