Angry mother: Seriously, Landon, I told you, do not touch anyone else's balls!
Mini Golf
Burnham, Maine
Archive for the ‘Advice’ Category
Yeah, I’ve Had to Tell Tommy Hilfiger’s People No
Hobo #1, holding gallon of water: I’ve been trying to drink a lot of water. You need to clear that toxic shit out. You collect lots of, uh, what they called? Endorsements. Your body just builds up these endorsements, and they poison you! I think that’s what they’re called… You know what I mean?
Hobo #2: [Nods knowingly.]
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Rich
And Then I’ll Have Fewer Exams to Grade
Accounting professor: You should drink champagne and go swimming — it’s lots of fun. Once you’re tipsy and get three to four feet underwater you have no idea which way’s up.
http://overheardatkmc.blogspot.com/2006/11/what-accountant-does-for-fun.html
Steroids? Discuss.
Old sweaty guy to gym owner: Bob*, did you know there's something wrong with one of your balls?
Gym owner: Which one?
Old sweaty guy: The little blue one. It's half deflated.
Gym owner: Oh, that one. It's always had problems. People keep doing stupid things with it.
Gym
Blue Mountains
Australia
For Today's Lab, You Won't Need Partners
Teaching assistant to bunch of anatomy students: When in doubt, touch yourself!
Cleveland State University, Ohio
For the Last Time, That Was CPR
Bimbette #1: We need to find men to buy us drinks tonight — I only have, like, 10 bucks.
Bimbette #2: Why don’t you make out with Mom again? That worked last time.
Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
That's What the Overhead Lights Are For
Flight attendant (on PA): Chances are they're all middle seats. Find the one with the most attractive people, and take it.
Southwest Flight over California
Overheard by: Armen
And I’d Stay Away from Nestle’s, Too
Little girl reaches towards a sheep as it poops.
Little boy: Nooo! Stop! Don’t touch those raisinets! You can’t eat a sheep’s raisinets!
Birmingham Zoo
Alabama
Homosexual Panic Strikes Edward without Warning
Guy bidding farewell to pals: You guys take care of yourselves in the car… I didn’t mean that like it came out.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: mike
A Mom Can Dream, Can’t She?
Angry mother on the bus: Come here and sit down!
Four-year-old: No, it’s okay. I’m being good.
Angry mother: This bus is going to stop suddenly and you’re going to fall down and crack your head open on one of the bars, and before the bus gets back around to the hospital you will bleed to death!
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: jeff