Drunk guy: Everyone in this room should get hair extensions.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Archive for the ‘Advice’ Category
Wasn’t That the Title Of a Judy Blume Book?
Young bearded hipster to college girl: They keep telling me anal bleaching is the way to go, but do girls really notice that stuff?
Manhattan, New York
…Advertised As Used Bicycles
Cab driver, ending phone call: That’s why you never marry a chick that’ll swallow for an extra $20. Can’t believe people like that are on Craigslist!
Boston, Massachusetts
Yeah, I’ve Had to Tell Tommy Hilfiger’s People No
Hobo #1, holding gallon of water: I’ve been trying to drink a lot of water. You need to clear that toxic shit out. You collect lots of, uh, what they called? Endorsements. Your body just builds up these endorsements, and they poison you! I think that’s what they’re called… You know what I mean?
Hobo #2: [Nods knowingly.]
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Rich
My Kidneys Will Take That Under Advisement
Man: You don’t need that booze!
Woman: I know, but I’m getting it.
Man: Just don’t drink the fun out of it.
Edwardsville, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Lightly Stroke It.
Flight attendant: Contrary to popular belief, pushing the button with the flight attendant on it will not turn your flight attendant on. So don’t push it.
Flight to New York
Overheard by: Erica Lynn
Okay. Now Pretend You Think We Think That.
Blonde to parents: Pretend I’m smarter than you think I am.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/its_harder_than_it_sounds.html
Overheard by: she really is
I Wanted You to Understand How It Felt to Read Your Term Papers
Professor: I think I popped a few Oxycontins before I wrote this so it might not make any sense.
Salem State College
Salem, Massachusetts
Just Plug and Play– What Could Be Easier?
Drunk girl #1, in bathroom: So I told her she just needed to remove her vagina, put on a cock and man up!
Drunk girl #2: Totally.
Bathroom, Rocket Bar
Washington, DC
Then Ask Him How Much He’ll Pay to Adopt You
Harried mom to adorable eight-year-old girl: You just ask a policeman. Next time you see a policeman you ask him, “Is it illegal for me to sleep in my mommy’s car?”
Toronto
Canadia
