Dude: You have a sister, right?
Chick: Yeah.
Dude: Is she hot?
Chick: She’s 12 and shaped like a rectangle.
Dude: That doesn’t answer my question.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Archive for the ‘Age and ageing’ Category
Don’t Make Me Do Date Math, Tricia
18-year-old girl to 20-year-old girl: The Declaration of Independence looks really old and faded. How old is it?
National Archives
Washington, DC
We’re Imagining the Cat Lady from The Simpsons
Crazy lady to group of girls: Well, there’s us and then there’s them. And when I was your age I said I was never gonna be like them. And look at me… Do I look anything like them?
Greenfield, Massachusetts
…And I’m Usually Into 20-Something Honduran Men…
Law student: So, listen. He went to get a manicure the other day and I was like, you know, “how was it?” He was like, “oh, it was good and all, but she was rubbing my arm and I kinda started getting turned on.” And I was like, “what?” He said “yeah, and it was kinda weird because she was this 50-year-old Asian woman.”
Mississippi College School of Law
Her Shirt Says “Jesus Is My Homeboy”
Fat drunk guy: I really like your shirt. It’s very intellectual.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Fat drunk guy: I mean, I’m in college, I like to think deep, you know? I want to make films. Deep films.
Girl: Yeah, that’ll be cool.
Fat drunk guy: How old are you?
Girl: I’m 16.
Fat drunk guy: Oh, I’m 18. Well…I mean, I’m 23.
Shreveport, Louisiana
Overheard by: Elle
…But Before I Start to Spoil
16-year-old girl #1: I wanna wait to have kids, you know? But I don’t wanna be old or anything. I think like 19 or somethin.
16-year-old girl #2: Yeah. Oscar wants to knock me up and I’m like “no bitch, I don’t even have a license yet.” We’re thinking after I turn 18.
Los Angeles, California
Since Barenaked Ladies Was Already Taken
Twenty-something dude: When I grow up, and learn how to play an instrument, I’m calling my band he-gina and she-nis.
McKenna’s
Baltimore, Maryland
Apparently Medicare and Social Security Don’t Count
Guy behind deli counter: Does anyone need any help?
Old man #1: What about psychiatric help?
Old man #2: Are you giving or receiving?
Old man #1: I’m on the receiving end of everything. Except taxes!
Gene’s Fine Foods
Saratoga, California
Should’ve Realized He Wasn’t “Chosen” When He Never Got Picked for T‑Ball
Girl to friend: So he was already crying because he found out we weren’t Jewish. Then he was like, “But aunt Jill is Jewish! Why aren’t we?!” My mom had to explain that Jill’s her best friend, not her sister. So then he found out we weren’t related to Jacob and everyone. So he cried even harder.
Friend: Wow.
Girl: Yeah, but he was like 10, so he should have just sucked it up.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Tyler
Taught Me the “White Elephant”
College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!
University of Rochester
Rochester, New York
