Coworker, about Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve: For people our age it’s just not New Year’s until we see Dick.
Sanford, Florida
Archive for the ‘Age and ageing’ Category
Old Is the New Dead
Guy on cell: You realize it is old people’s only duty to die to get out of the way right?
International Airport
Louisville, Kentucky
That Faux-Posh Accent Never Fooled Me
Old lady #1: I’ve never liked her!
Old lady #2: She was a shit at school, and she’s a shit now.
West Midlands
England
Let Us Never Speak Of This Again.
College guy, watching little girl in husky cheerleader outfit: What’s with all these cheerleaders everywhere? I like it!
Female friend: Dude, that sounded kind of wrong, she’s like six.
College guy: Yeah… I just realized that.
UW Husky Tailgate
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Face
Fifth Grade’s Usually When Kids Develop Flayva
White girl to Hispanic chick: I swear, in 5th grade you were, like, white.
Hispanic chick: White, like, acted white? Or white like white skin?
White girl: Like, white. Weren’t you ever white?
Panera Bread
Fairlawn, New Jersey
Overheard by: Siberia
Let’s Just Say She’s in Shape
Dude: You have a sister, right?
Chick: Yeah.
Dude: Is she hot?
Chick: She’s 12 and shaped like a rectangle.
Dude: That doesn’t answer my question.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Don’t Make Me Do Date Math, Tricia
18-year-old girl to 20-year-old girl: The Declaration of Independence looks really old and faded. How old is it?
National Archives
Washington, DC
We’re Imagining the Cat Lady from The Simpsons
Crazy lady to group of girls: Well, there’s us and then there’s them. And when I was your age I said I was never gonna be like them. And look at me… Do I look anything like them?
Greenfield, Massachusetts
…And I’m Usually Into 20-Something Honduran Men…
Law student: So, listen. He went to get a manicure the other day and I was like, you know, “how was it?” He was like, “oh, it was good and all, but she was rubbing my arm and I kinda started getting turned on.” And I was like, “what?” He said “yeah, and it was kinda weird because she was this 50-year-old Asian woman.”
Mississippi College School of Law
Her Shirt Says “Jesus Is My Homeboy”
Fat drunk guy: I really like your shirt. It’s very intellectual.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Fat drunk guy: I mean, I’m in college, I like to think deep, you know? I want to make films. Deep films.
Girl: Yeah, that’ll be cool.
Fat drunk guy: How old are you?
Girl: I’m 16.
Fat drunk guy: Oh, I’m 18. Well…I mean, I’m 23.
Shreveport, Louisiana
Overheard by: Elle
