Archive for the ‘Age and ageing’ Category

…Even Though It’s Shaped Like St. Peter?

Girlfriend, excited: I know exactly what I’m going to get you for your birthday this year.
Boyfriend: Oh yeah? I know exactly what I am going to get you for your birthday.
Girlfriend: Really? Are you going to get that thing cut off your back?

Cafe
Sydney
Australia

I Hate When They Do It While You’re Driving, and You Can’t See the Road

Frustrated gamer playing The Legend of Zelda: Did you see that? She’s such a slut! Her vagina was just totally up in link’s face. And he’s like, twelve. Why are women like that all the time?

University of Massachusetts

Overheard by: the girl in the corner cramming for finals

The Cautionary Tale That Elizabeth Taylor Has Taught Us All

Girl to friends: I mean, think about it: a girl that’s pretty now could be ugly in ten years.

Crested Butte, Colorado

Overheard by: Wow.

Amen, Sister

Coworker, about Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve: For people our age it’s just not New Year’s until we see Dick.

Sanford, Florida

Old Is the New Dead

Guy on cell: You realize it is old people’s only duty to die to get out of the way right?

International Airport
Louisville, Kentucky

That Faux-Posh Accent Never Fooled Me

Old lady #1: I’ve never liked her!
Old lady #2: She was a shit at school, and she’s a shit now.

West Midlands
England

Let Us Never Speak Of This Again.

College guy, watching little girl in husky cheerleader outfit: What’s with all these cheerleaders everywhere? I like it!
Female friend: Dude, that sounded kind of wrong, she’s like six.
College guy: Yeah… I just realized that.

UW Husky Tailgate
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Face

Fifth Grade’s Usually When Kids Develop Flayva

White girl to Hispanic chick: I swear, in 5th grade you were, like, white.
Hispanic chick: White, like, acted white? Or white like white skin?
White girl: Like, white. Weren’t you ever white?

Panera Bread
Fairlawn, New Jersey

Overheard by: Siberia