Archive for the ‘Airports & flights’ Category

In Fact, He’s De­li­cious

Cap­tain on in­ter­com: Ladies and gen­tle­men, just want­ed to let you know the rea­son this flight was de­layed. The plane col­lid­ed with a bird up­on land­ing. It’s no big deal; it just hit a body part. The bird is okay.

Air­port
Pitts­burgh, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: La­dle (who is skep­ti­cal about the well-be­ing of the bird)

Roseanne Barr: The Flight At­ten­dant Years

An­gry suit: When is this plane go­ing to take off? I have a very im­por­tant meet­ing to get to!
Flight at­ten­dant: The in­com­ing plane is de­layed, sir, there’s noth­ing we can do at the mo­ment.
An­gry suit: Well, are you go­ing to make arrange­ments for me to get on an­oth­er flight? This is ur­gent! Do you know who I am?
Flight at­ten­dant (over loud­speak­er): Ex­cuse me, ladies and gen­tle­men, there is a gen­tle­man at the desk who does not know who he is. If any­one has any in­for­ma­tion about his iden­ti­ty, please come for­ward.

Mid­way Air­port
Chica­go, Illi­nois