Archive for the ‘Airports & flights’ Category

Re­quiem for a Dream? Re­al­ly?

Pas­sen­ger to at­ten­dant: Ex­cuse me? They turned the movie off.
At­ten­dant: Yes, we’re land­ing ear­li­er than thought.
Pas­sen­ger: Oh, but the movie was­n’t over.
At­ten­dant: Sor­ry about that, but we need to turn it off for de­scent.
Pas­sen­ger: But I was watch­ing it!
At­ten­dant: I am very sor­ry, but since we have start­ed our de­scent…
Pas­sen­ger, in­ter­rupt­ing: But now I don’t know how it ends!
At­ten­dant: They all lived hap­pi­ly ever af­ter.

Qan­tas Flight to Mel­bourne
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Seat 14 F

We’ll Be De­part­ing Just As Soon As These Pills Wear Off

Pi­lot over loud­speak­er (riff­ing on har­mon­i­ca): This is your cap­tain speak­ing, (har­mon­i­ca riff) Wel­come aboard, (har­mon­i­ca riff) Please fas­ten your seat belts. (har­mon­i­ca riff) Or we won’t be able to leave beau­ti­ful At­lanta, Geor­gia.
(does long, jazzy har­mon­i­ca riff. Pas­sen­gers ap­plaud)
Pi­lot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.

Amer­i­can Air­lines Flight
At­lanta, Geor­gia

Be­ing a Gen­tle­man Has to Be Its Own Re­ward

Man: Ex­cuse me, but your skirt is caught on your bag and it’s pulling your skirt all the way up.
Young woman (an­noyed): Ex­cuse me! Can’t you see I’m on the fuck­ing phone?!
Man: Fine then–walk around with your ass hang­ing out–see if I care.
Young woman (in­to her phone): Oh my god! Some guy just to­tal­ly came up and told me that my ass is show­ing! (walks off with skirt still show­ing)

Air­port
Syd­ney
Aus­tralia