Customer, looking at strange photograph: Wow, that baby sure does have a lot of hair!
Cashier: I told my wife not to put a wig on that baby, but she just wouldn’t listen.
Birmingham, Alabama
Archive for the ‘Alabama’ Category
Wait’ll We Hit Corporate America
Jock #1: I felt like such a whore today.
Jock #2: I can imagine.
Montevallo, Alabama
Why Yeast Infections Exist: A Short Story.
Girl #1: Do you think I could wash my clothes with fabric softener? I don’t have any detergent.
Girl #2: That should probably work.
(30 minutes later)
Girl #2: So, did it work?
Girl #1: Yeah… I think… they don’t smell anymore, at least. Good enough, right?
Laundry Room, University of Alabama
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: I don’t think it is
His Parents Say That About Any Place That’s Not Alabama
3rd grade girl, about essay: I am writing about taking a vacation to heaven!
Teacher: Okay, but why don’t you pick a place you can actually go on vacation? You can’t really just visit heaven.
3rd grade boy: Yes you can! I went to heaven once to visit my aunt!
Auburn, Alabama
Divorce the Second Woman and Marry the First, Guys
Woman #1: I love the smell of rain.
Woman #2: The only thing I smell is elephant shit.
Alabama State Fair
Overheard by: Wendy and Joe
Well, As Long As You’ve Thought This Through.
Woman #1: So you’re going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids “Messiah,” and it means the same damn thing.
Alabama
Overheard by: Matthew Roberts
It Really Doesn’t Age Well
Guy to another: Don’t shake my hand, dude, it’s still got pussy on it!
Men’s Bathroom
Bar, Alabama
Overheard by: So glad I don’t live here anymore
It May Be the First Test I Pass This Semester!
Girl: Where you going?
Guy: I am gonna go get tested for AIDS!
Girl: What?
Guy: You know, HIV! It’s free!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
It’s Not Gay If It’s About Video Games
10-year-old boy to GameStop guy, after purchasing Mario Galaxy: Bye, I love you! I mean…wait. I meant “thank you.” I didn’t mean it! (runs away)
GameStop
Vestavia Hills, Alabama
Overheard by: that’s what they all say
Is This Any More Stupid Than the Political Interpretation? Discuss.
Teenage girl #1, explaining Shakespeare to friend: So, basically, Romeo is, like, a man whore. As soon as he knows some chick won’t have sex with him he gets all pissy and emo and goes after someone else.
Teenage girl #2: So, like, he just wants to make babies? Man, I always thought it was more romantic!
Teenage girl #1: Nope. He just wants to hop into bed with whoever’s available.
Birmingham, Alabama
