Jock: Wait… Are you talking about Kim? I thought she was dating that guy.
Bimbette: Oh, you mean Fuck-face?
Jock: Yeah.
Bimbette: No, that’s over.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Jock: Wait… Are you talking about Kim? I thought she was dating that guy.
Bimbette: Oh, you mean Fuck-face?
Jock: Yeah.
Bimbette: No, that’s over.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Man gassing up his pickup truck to screaming woman inside: Goddammit, Delores, I cannot unfuck that woman!
Gas Station, Alabama
Customer, looking at strange photograph: Wow, that baby sure does have a lot of hair!
Cashier: I told my wife not to put a wig on that baby, but she just wouldn’t listen.
Birmingham, Alabama
Jock #1: I felt like such a whore today.
Jock #2: I can imagine.
Montevallo, Alabama
Girl #1: Do you think I could wash my clothes with fabric softener? I don’t have any detergent.
Girl #2: That should probably work.
(30 minutes later)
Girl #2: So, did it work?
Girl #1: Yeah… I think… they don’t smell anymore, at least. Good enough, right?
Laundry Room, University of Alabama
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: I don’t think it is
3rd grade girl, about essay: I am writing about taking a vacation to heaven!
Teacher: Okay, but why don’t you pick a place you can actually go on vacation? You can’t really just visit heaven.
3rd grade boy: Yes you can! I went to heaven once to visit my aunt!
Auburn, Alabama
Woman #1: I love the smell of rain.
Woman #2: The only thing I smell is elephant shit.
Alabama State Fair
Overheard by: Wendy and Joe
Woman #1: So you’re going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids “Messiah,” and it means the same damn thing.
Alabama
Overheard by: Matthew Roberts
Guy to another: Don’t shake my hand, dude, it’s still got pussy on it!
Men’s Bathroom
Bar, Alabama
Overheard by: So glad I don’t live here anymore
Girl: Where you going?
Guy: I am gonna go get tested for AIDS!
Girl: What?
Guy: You know, HIV! It’s free!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist