Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category

God, You’re So Competitive, Jason!

Ditzy woman: It would look more like Australia if it was an island, because Australia is an island… right?
Ditzy woman’s daughter: I think that’s the smartest thing that’s ever been said in my presence.
Ditzy woman: Well, somebody in this family has to be brilliant.
Four-year-old boy: Dogs are kinda like vampires because they both have pointy teeth.

Harrisburg, Illinois

Thankfully the Stupid Seem to Always Die Off First

Environmental science teacher: What, in your opinion, is the most pressing environmental issue our planet faces today?
Clueless redhead, raising hand unsurely: Is it… The birds?
Environmental science teacher: Excuse me?
Clueless redhead: Isn’t there something up with birds? Like, aren’t they dying or something?
Environmental science teacher: Um… Thousands of different animals are dying…
Clueless redhead: Oh. I thought it was just birds.

High School
Los Angeles, California

…Which You All Got Wrong on the Midterm

Professor: What would you guys do if I told you that a giant fish was going to eat you on your way home?
Girl: Hide?
Professor: No! You’d all go out and have sex! I mean besides sleeping, eating, and having sex, what else do you need to do? You’re just taking this class so later in life you can sleep in a better place, eat better food, and have sex with someone hotter!

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michgan

Overheard by: Kelli