Archive for the ‘Anorexics’ Category

Oh, and One Of Your Mud­slides, Please.

En­ti­tled mid­dle-aged anorex­ic: I’ll have the Cobb sal­ad with no crou­tons, no ba­con, no egg, no cheese, and no av­o­ca­do, with the chick­en on a sep­a­rate plate.
Sheep­ish wait­ress: That just leaves let­tuce, toma­to, and olives. You sure that’s all you want, ma’am?
En­ti­tled mid­dle-aged anorex­ic: I’m sure.
Sheep­ish wait­ress: It’d be cheap­er to get a side sal­ad and just add chick­en.
En­ti­tled mid­dle-aged anorex­ic: No, I want a Cobb sal­ad.
Sheep­ish wait­ress: It would be the same thing with­out all the top­pings.
En­ti­tled mid­dle-aged anorex­ic: I. Want. A. Cobb. Sal­ad!
Sheep­ish wait­ress: Yes, ma’am. What kind of dress­ing would you like?
En­ti­tled mid­dle-aged anorex­ic: No dress­ing, please.
Sheep­ish wait­ress: Yes, ma’am.

TGI Fri­day’s
Vir­ginia

No Won­der I Keep Pass­ing Out!

Girl in bath­room stall #1: I have re­al­ly ex­cit­ing news!
Girl in bath­room stall #2: You just saved a bunch of mon­ey on your car in­sur­ance?
Girl in bath­room stall #1: No. When I bought these pants they fit, and now they are too big! I’ve been try­ing to lose some weight.
Girl in bath­room stall #2: That’s great! What size are they?
Girl in bath­room stall #1: Um­mm… 25s.
Girl in bath­room stall #2: That’s like a size ze­ro. Why are you try­ing to lose weight?
Girl in bath­room stall #1: Oh, is that too small or some­thing?

Restau­rant Bath­room
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Good­ness, Just Look at the Time!

Tanorex­ic blonde on date: So ba­si­cal­ly the fuck­ing doc­tor told me that my cervix is fucked up.
Un­com­fort­able-look­ing date: Right…
Tanorex­ic blonde on date: Yeah. Cunt told me that it’d be like push­ing a ba­by through a tooth­paste tube. I got­ta go get it widened or some shit like that. Or that thing where they cut you open…
Un­com­fort­able-look­ing date: A cae­sar­i­an?
Tanorex­ic blonde on date: Yeah. That’s it. Ba­by ke­bab.

Leam­ing­ton Spa
Eng­land

I Prob­a­bly Need to Get Out Of Culi­nary Arts

Col­lege girl in work­out gear: No, I don’t re­al­ly like to eat. I mean, I don’t re­al­ly like food. I just have to eat it, you know?
Col­lege friend: Yeah, I know what you mean. Some­times I think, you know I could just live off of Gatorade or or­ange juice or some­thing. You get the same nu­tri­ents and stuff from that any­way.
Col­lege girl in work­out gear: Yeeeeah. Ex­act­ly.

Bus
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton