Girl #1: There are these bees in Asia, and they like shoot venom at you and it like eats your skin or something.
Girl #2: Wow, that’s crazy, man! Remind me never to go to Africa.
High School
Scottsdale, Arizona
Archive for the ‘Arizona’ Category
So “Oreo Cook” Isn’t a Racial Slur?
Girl: I’ll have the chocolate peanut butter car crunch.
Cashier teenage boy: Ummmm… Yeah, the “car” actually stands for “caramel”.
Gelato Spot
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Fake Blonde
But If You’d Like to Come See Me about Fellatio, I’m Wide Open
Student, discussing paper topics: I’d kind of like to do prostitution… Is that too easy?
Professor: Why not? Prostitution is fun! Everybody likes doing prostitution.
Arizona State University
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Auntie Maim
What a Great Piece of Ash
(at the woodcarving tent)
Pretentious old lady to others: Mike does amazing things with his wood. (pause) I just *love* his wood.
Art & Wine Festival
Cave Creeek, Arizona
Overheard by: J‑Kap
The Kid Used to Yell “Boink Me, Daddy!”
Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!
Airport
Phoenix, Arizona
I Draw the Line at Branding, Though
Stoner chick on cell: Yeah, he’s just gonna want to get high and do stuff to my ass.
Wendy’s
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Jon
SVU: Tucson Failed to Catch on with Viewers
Crazy man to woman walking to her car: Sir! Sir! There is evidence here that there has been sexual activity in this area!
Woman: (silence)
Crazy man (under breath): Lazy pig.
Parking Garage
Tucson, Arizona
That Was the Extra Credit on Your Math Test?
Hyper girl: Hey, I’m just really happy that I could identify Joe Pesci’s forehead!
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Mevans
Warren Beatty Should Stop Having Work Done
Tall, skinny kid: He’s…like…suspiciously Asian.
Tall skinny friend: That’s what I thought too!
Arby’s
Tempe, Arizona
We’re on to You, Kathy Griffin
Exceedingly pale college guy: You can’t trust redheads. They don’t blink their eyes at the same time.
Exceedingly pale high school guy: (nods in understanding)
Arby’s
Tempe, Arizona
