Archive for the ‘Arkansas’ Category

And Put Some Un­der­pants on, Wouldya?

San­ta: Re­mem­ber, you have to be very good so I can bring you lots of presents.
Lit­tle girl: I have been! I have been!
San­ta: I came by your house the oth­er day. Did you know that?
Lit­tle girl: Re­al­ly?! Wow!
San­ta: I looked in your win­dow, and I saw lots of messy toys on your floor. And clothes.
Lit­tle girl, cry­ing: I was just go­ing to get a glass of wa­ter and then go back to clean them up, I promise!
San­ta: What­ev­er.

Park Plaza Mall
Lit­tle Rock, Arkansas

I Was All, “But I’m Tex­ting You!”

Young col­lege girl #1: How was your date last night?
Young col­lege girl #2: Okay. I don’t think I’m go­ing out with him again, though.
Young col­lege girl #1: Why?
Young col­lege girl #2: He was weird. He asked me to quit tex­ting while we were hav­ing din­ner.
Young col­lege girl #1: Rude!

Fayet­teville, Arkansas

If She Were a True Psy­chic, She Would­n’t Have An­swered the Phone

(group of teen girls on field trip)
Bored niece: Hey! Let’s call my aunt in Cal­i­for­nia. She’s a psy­chic. (di­als phone) Hi, we are bored and thought we’d call and ask you psy­chic ques­tions.
Bored niece’s friend: Ask her what my stage name would be if I be­came a strip­per.

Lake At­lanta Park
Rogers, Arkansas

Over­heard by: Yes, I have shoes and all of my teeth.

Some­thing Was Put in That Was­n’t There Be­fore?

Wide-eyed girl #1 ex­it­ing class: Did he just–?
Wide-eyed girl #2: –Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #1: But wha–?
Wide-eyed girl #2: –I feel dirty.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #2: Do you… Uh, wait.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Did we just get mind-fucked?
Wide-eyed girl #2: I think so.

Arkansas State Uni­ver­si­ty
Jones­boro, Arkansas

Over­heard by: What the hell just hap­pened?!

I Went for the Preschool Pu-Pu Plat­ter

Pro­fes­sor: Did those cops find you the oth­er day? They were wait­ing out­side the class­room.
Stu­dent: I know. You’re not kid­ding.
Pro­fes­sor: No, I’m not.
Stu­dent: Yeah, I kid­napped the kids over Christ­mas.
Pro­fes­sor: Good for you.

Arkansas State Uni­ver­si­ty