Archive for the ‘Arkansas’ Category

…Like in The Sweet­est Thing?

Stu­dent #1: Hey, did you no­tice the huge black wood­en sign that’s block­ing the en­trance to the girl’s bath­room due to van­dal­ism?
Stu­dent #2: Yeah, I heard some­one stole one of the uri­nals.
Stu­dent #1: It’s a girl’s bath­room, though.
Stu­dent #2: Don’t they use them too?

High School
Gavette, Arkansas

You Guys Give Me the Willies

Teen girl: God, sis­ters can be an­noy­ing.
Sin­gle child: I don’t have any. Hey, Ab­by*, do you have sib­lings?
Ab­by: Yeah… A younger broth­er who’s al­ways call­ing for ad­vice.
Breed­er: An­drew, right?
Ab­by: That’s him. He’s al­ways call­ing me. ‘Ab­by, I want to up­grade from dat­ing stu­pid, ug­ly girls to pret­ty, ug­ly girls — how do I do it? Ab­by, what col­or looks bet­ter on me, cream or salmon?‘
On­ly male: Right, the not-ex­act­ly-gay broth­er.
Ab­by, ig­nor­ing him: ‘Ab­by, I was watch­ing porn and my pe­nis twitched side­ways — what do I do?‘
Pur­ple-haired girl: What?
Teen girl: I hate to ad­mit it, but if my pe­nis was twitch­ing side­ways, I’d call you for ad­vice.
Breed­er: So, did you know?
Ab­by: Guys, I was 13! Of course I did­n’t know!
On­ly male: But you know now?
Ab­by, as en­tire group stares: … Three pos­si­bil­i­ties.
On­ly male: I’ll call you, then, if my pe­nis twitch­es side­ways.

Steak ‘n Shake