Archive for the ‘Asians’ Category

Best. Peer Ad­vi­sor. Ever.

Cu­ri­ous friend: Does­n’t your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That’s what my hands are for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: Don’t your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That’s what my mouth is for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that’s when he puts it in my butt.

Hobo­ken, New Jer­sey

It Makes Up for My Lack Of Boobs.

Short Asian chick to tall white guy: Oh my gawd, I’ve got it! So, heat ris­es, right? So it’s prob­a­bly all warm up there where you are, and down here with the nor­mal peo­ple it’s cold, and that’s why you don’t think it’s cold, even though it’s freak­ing freez­ing! Gawd, I love be­ing an Asian! I come up with the most ge­nius shit!

Muir­lands Mid­dle School
La Jol­la, Cal­i­for­nia

Chi­na: Give Us Time.

Ko­re­an girl: You know, I can’t tell us apart, ei­ther.
Chi­nese girl: Yeah, I just think every­one’s Chi­nese.

High school bath­room
New­mar­ket, On­tario

Over­heard by: slight­ly re­lieved

I Pre­fer to Think Of Them As My “So­lar Pan­els”

(blind shuts in lounge area, block­ing re­al­ly bright sun­shine, every­body quick­ly looks up)
Hot Chi­nese girl: Hey!
Friend: And fi­nal­ly they drop the blinds. My eyes were start­ing to hurt.
Hot Chi­nese girl: But I like the sun­shine! It’s so bright and warm and it em­pha­sizes my boobs by cast­ing shad­ows on my chest!

Uni­ver­si­ty of Toron­to