Archive for the ‘Ass’ Category

A Stripper Is Born

Middle aged lady in hospital scrubs: It’s a lot of fun and great exercise.
Old toothless lady: I really admire you, I don’t like to show off my fuzzy-fuzzy to just anyone.
Middle aged lady: Yeah, well, I don’t either, but like I said: it’s great exercise.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Karl

Instead, I’ll Discuss Your Pain With This Complete Stranger

Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Richmond, Virginia

Nobody Can Do Sexual Harassment Like the Insane

Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger’s face: I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren’t jumpin’ last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma’am, don’t say that to me! You don’t know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there’s a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma’am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin’ to fuck me standing up!? Why don’t you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma’am, I’m calling the police.

Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania