Archive for the ‘Ass’ Category

Your Friends Say It All the Time.

Little girl, singing: You got a fat butt, you got a fat butt!
Mother: Now sweetie, that’s not nice to say about mommy.
Little boy: But its true!

Dressing Room
Union, New Jersey

Overheard by: Sarah

At Midnight It Turns Into a Pumpkin

Thug wannabe: Damn, you see that white girl? She got a magic booty.

Mall
Buford, Georgia

Overheard by: girl with the magical booty

The Immaculate Conception Story Has Gotten Skewed with Time

Frustrated waiter: It doesn’t matter if it was real or not. What matters is that it came out of her ass!

Cass Corridor
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: fox news

And I Was in the Boy Scouts.

Mover and shaker: I went to a military academy, I know about anal sex. I went to a military academy.

Austin, Texas

I Hear the Russian Judge Gives Extra Points for That

Flaming gay over speakerphone: Just like that boy from Miami last night, I tried to suck his dick like I was trying to win an Olympic gold medal. And that’s the only ass I would lick even if it wasn’t clean.

Washington, DC

Like Fat Elvis!

Grandmother to little boy: Elvis! Come here, we’re going. (to store person) His mother was a big Elvis fan, so now he’s a little Elvis.
Little boy: I have hair on my back!

Brisbane
Australia

You Have Her Eyes, Patrick

Drunk guy #1: I don’t know, I bet she was a nice-looking Irish lass back in her day.
Drunk guy #2: You keep calling my grandma a piece of ass like it’s a compliment.

Bar
Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: Mike K.