20-something woman preparing turkey to guy: I’m not sure what’s worse, pulling all this out of the turkey’s ass, or you taking it in the ass last night.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: At least some one had a happy thanksgiving
Archive for the ‘Ass’ Category
He’s Been Known to Pleasure Several Girls en Brochette
Girl #1: His penis was huge, like 12 inches! He was holding it and his hand looked so tiny!
Girl #2: No wonder he doesn’t get any play, that shit hurts!
Girl #3: Yeah, it would like come out my ass!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Just 2
Best. Peer Advisor. Ever.
Curious friend: Doesn’t your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That’s what my hands are for!
Curious friend: Don’t your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That’s what my mouth is for!
Curious friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that’s when he puts it in my butt.
Hoboken, New Jersey
Skid or Stretch?
Sorostitute yelling at friend: I can see the marks on your butt from over here!
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/april-is-cruelest-month.html
Overheard by: yix
Then There Was the Guy We Stabbed and Stuck in the Dumpster…
Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.
Wilmington, North Carolina
Is Swamp Ass the Next Evolutionary Step? Discuss.
Teenage boy: Are you saying your asshole gets sweaty when I’m around?
Teenage girl: Exactly.
Northgate
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: NotSoSuperMario
Jenna Jameson: “Story of My Life, Honey”
20-something girl: My ass hurts and my throat is sore. I also feel very underwhelmed.
San Francisco, California
That’s Why I Married Her, Sweetie
Dad, leading three-year-old girl to bathroom: You need to go potty? You can sit on the potty in here.
Three-year-old girl: No, that potty’s not for me. That’s for mommy. She has a big butt.
Alameda, California
Overheard by: lith
Gay Men Can’t Drink Coffee? That’s Crazy.
Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!
Starbucks
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath
You Won’t Feel a Thing, I Promise
Long-nosed cute blond girl: So you’re basically offering to fuck me in the arse?
Drunk guy: Not in the arse per se, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t get the wrong hole and just go for it.
Long-nosed cute blond girl: You do know we just met five minutes ago?
Drunk guy: What can I say? I work fast.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
