Overheard Everywhere

Archive for the ‘Ass’ Category

In­stead, I’ll Dis­cuss Your Pain With This Com­plete Stranger

Boyfriend to gas sta­tion at­ten­dant: She slept with the en­tire foot­ball team in high school.
Girl­friend: Maybe, but I still would­n’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Re­al­ly? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Rich­mond, Vir­ginia

No­body Can Do Sex­u­al Ha­rass­ment Like the In­sane

Crazy bag la­dy, loud­ly: I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to an­oth­er pas­sen­ger on the sub­way)
Crazy bag la­dy, now in pas­sen­ger’s face: I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(fe­male pas­sen­ger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag la­dy: Why you jump­ing? Why you jump­ing, bitch!? You weren’t jumpin’ last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Fe­male pas­sen­ger: Ex­cuse me, ma’am, don’t say that to me! You don’t know me!
(sub­way train stops)
Con­duc­tor: City Hall sta­tion!
Fe­male pas­sen­ger: Ex­cuse me, sir, there’s a crazy la­dy on the sub­way ha­rass­ing the oth­er pas­sen­gers.
Con­duc­tor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(fe­male pas­sen­ger points to crazy woman yelling)
Con­duc­tor: Ma’am, are you both­er­ing peo­ple?
Crazy bag la­dy: Why you tryin’ to fuck me stand­ing up!? Why don’t you fuck me ly­ing down like a gen­tle­man!
Con­duc­tor: Ma’am, I’m call­ing the po­lice.

Broad Street Line Sub­way
Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Best. Peer Ad­vi­sor. Ever.

Cu­ri­ous friend: Does­n’t your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That’s what my hands are for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: Don’t your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That’s what my mouth is for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that’s when he puts it in my butt.

Hobo­ken, New Jer­sey