New dad: Look! These clothes are cute. Oh, look at this dress!
New mum: You have a boy, not a girl!
Department Store
Melbourne
Australia
Archive for the ‘Australia’ Category
Why Is That Always Your Question?
College girl: I really want to go as Superman!
Friend: You aren’t going to stuff your crotch, are you?
Melbourne University
Australia
It’s in the Microwave
20-something chick on mobile: How many times do I have to tell you? There is no cocaine in my fridge!
University
Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: how many times
…Bowser
Little boy to grandma: Once, when I was camping, I sat on my biscuits, then I put my biscuits on a rock and ate them like a dog.
Grandma: Oh, uh… That’s nice…
Australia
To Them, Your Aquarium Is Just a Raw Bar
Guy at computer: It’s this whole thing with the penguins, man…
Friend: Yeah, I know. It’ll work itself out, though.
Monash University
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Timothy
…Since I Accepted Homer Simpson As My Personal Savior
Teenage girl #1: He hates me.
Teenage girl #2: He doesn’t hate you. Maybe you should just say “hi” to him.
Teenage girl #1: How am I supposed to say “hi”? I have voices in my head saying “I want cheeseburgers”!
Canberra
Australia
It Is When She’s Blowing Me While I Cook
Dish hand: Did you fuck it all up again, chef?
Chef: Sure did.
Dish hand: You do this every fucking shift.
Chef: Yeah, but my wife’s hot.
Dish hand: That is not a valid defense!
Adelaide
Australia
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini? Really?
Chick #1, about techno music blasting from shop: What does this song make you think of?
Chick #2: Being stabbed repeatedly in the eye with a rusty nail.
Chick #1: [Silence.]Chick #2: What about you?
Chick #1: Discos…
Sawnston Street and Flinders Street
Australia
Because He’s a Poorly-Drawn Character?
Teacher: Small things amuse small minds, Timothy.
Kid: Then why does Dumbledore laugh at such stupid shit?
Emerald
Australia
Could You Leave Me Alone with This for a Few Minutes?
Drunk man to man holding rolled-up newspaper: There’s a kind of phallic-ness about it, a sort of masculine quality…
The Ship Inn, Southbank
Brisbane
Australia
