Dish hand: Did you fuck it all up again, chef?
Chef: Sure did.
Dish hand: You do this every fucking shift.
Chef: Yeah, but my wife’s hot.
Dish hand: That is not a valid defense!
Adelaide
Australia
Archive for the ‘Australia’ Category
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini? Really?
Chick #1, about techno music blasting from shop: What does this song make you think of?
Chick #2: Being stabbed repeatedly in the eye with a rusty nail.
Chick #1: [Silence.]Chick #2: What about you?
Chick #1: Discos…
Sawnston Street and Flinders Street
Australia
Because He’s a Poorly-Drawn Character?
Teacher: Small things amuse small minds, Timothy.
Kid: Then why does Dumbledore laugh at such stupid shit?
Emerald
Australia
Could You Leave Me Alone with This for a Few Minutes?
Drunk man to man holding rolled-up newspaper: There’s a kind of phallic-ness about it, a sort of masculine quality…
The Ship Inn, Southbank
Brisbane
Australia
And I’m the Dairy Queen.
Seven-year-old girl #1: Hey! There goes Angus!
Seven-year-old girl #2: Oooh, you are falling in love with him.
Seven-year-old girl #1: I am so not falling in love with him. He’s allergic to dairy!
Australia
Overheard by: hahamama
No Australian Is One Of Those
Maths teacher: Girls, what you need to do is try and think like a mathematician.
Student: Why, miss? We’re not mathematicians.
Maths teacher: Yes, you are. Whenever you do maths, you’re a mathematician.
Student: What about when we’re in English class? Does that make us engleticians?
Australia
The Kind They Blind You With
Girl #1: What’s Scientology?
Girl #2: Isn’t it like, you know, science?
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Dave
Now That Metal Rods Are the Latest Fashion Craze
Teacher: Okay, now what you do think is the chance of being killed by being struck by lightning?
Bimbette: Ummmm… probably like, one in two.
Class: (silence)
Teacher: One in two?
Bimbette: Wait! Make that one in ten.
Classroom
Sydney
Australia
…And Then Grade Him Candidly on a Scale from 1 to 10.
Girl #1: Honesty is the best policy.
Girl #2: Yeah, just sleep with the guy!
Barrack Heights
Australia
Overheard by: I think we might differ on our definitions of
Requiem for a Dream? Really?
Passenger to attendant: Excuse me? They turned the movie off.
Attendant: Yes, we’re landing earlier than thought.
Passenger: Oh, but the movie wasn’t over.
Attendant: Sorry about that, but we need to turn it off for descent.
Passenger: But I was watching it!
Attendant: I am very sorry, but since we have started our descent…
Passenger, interrupting: But now I don’t know how it ends!
Attendant: They all lived happily ever after.
Qantas Flight to Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Seat 14 F
