Archive for the ‘Backdoor’ Category

In­stead, I’ll Dis­cuss Your Pain With This Com­plete Stranger

Boyfriend to gas sta­tion at­ten­dant: She slept with the en­tire foot­ball team in high school.
Girl­friend: Maybe, but I still would­n’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Re­al­ly? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Rich­mond, Vir­ginia

Some­thing Tells Me That Was­n’t Ac­tu­al­ly Ran­dom

Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #1: So, this is to­tal­ly ran­dom, but if a gay black man has anal sex, do you think he can see if he has shit on his dick when he’s done?
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #2: Uh…
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #1: How sick would that be? I mean, they’re black. Well, ac­tu­al­ly, they’re brown. And shit is brown, you know? So how can they tell?
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #2: I would hope they’d no­tice.
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #1: Think about it! Walk­ing around with shit on your dick? Nasty.
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #2: Maybe that’s why some black peo­ple smell bad.
Ugg-wear­ing soros­ti­tute #1: Oh my god! You’re so right. Ew! If I were a gay man, I’d nev­er take it up the ass from a black guy.

530 Church Street
Ann Ar­bor, Michi­gan

Over­heard by: Caryn

Best. Peer Ad­vi­sor. Ever.

Cu­ri­ous friend: Does­n’t your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That’s what my hands are for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: Don’t your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That’s what my mouth is for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that’s when he puts it in my butt.

Hobo­ken, New Jer­sey