Overheard Everywhere

Archive for the ‘Backdoor’ Category

Best. Peer Ad­vi­sor. Ever.

Cu­ri­ous friend: Does­n’t your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That’s what my hands are for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: Don’t your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That’s what my mouth is for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that’s when he puts it in my butt.

Hobo­ken, New Jer­sey

You Won’t Feel a Thing, I Promise

Long-nosed cute blond girl: So you’re ba­si­cal­ly of­fer­ing to fuck me in the ar­se?
Drunk guy: Not in the ar­se per se, but I can’t guar­an­tee that I won’t get the wrong hole and just go for it.
Long-nosed cute blond girl: You do know we just met five min­utes ago?
Drunk guy: What can I say? I work fast.

Leam­ing­ton Spa
Eng­land

Over­heard by: Bleep

If You Want Me to Lis­ten to That Shit, You Got­ta Buy Me Ba­con

Red­head punk: Oh, God, the first guy I ever had sex with did that to me… Well, ac­tu­al­ly, that’s not true. He took my tech­ni­cal vir­gin­i­ty. I ac­tu­al­ly lost my anal vir­gin­i­ty first to an­oth­er guy.
Blonde hip­ster friend: [Silence.]Redhead punk: Yeah. So any­way, what hap­pened was–
Blonde hip­ster friend, sud­den­ly eat­ing vig­or­ous­ly: –Mmm, French toast!

Den­ny’s
Lans­ing, Michi­gan

Over­heard by: lost my ap­petite