Young bearded hipster to college girl: They keep telling me anal bleaching is the way to go, but do girls really notice that stuff?
Manhattan, New York
Young bearded hipster to college girl: They keep telling me anal bleaching is the way to go, but do girls really notice that stuff?
Manhattan, New York
Mom gripping three kids by their collars with one hand while pointing with each word at each kid with her other hand: I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. Another. Word. About. Sticking. Something. Up. Your. Asses!
Toy aisle, Wal-Mart
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: keller-wish i’d gotten there fifteen seconds earlier
Mover and shaker: I went to a military academy, I know about anal sex. I went to a military academy.
Austin, Texas
College guy #1: Hey, remember that time I fucked your mom in the ass?
College guy #2: Hey, remember that time I dressed up as my mom?
Fulton, Missouri
Overheard by: The Sweetheart
Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I’ve never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!
Richmond, Virginia
Young woman: He was really sweet about the butt sex… If it’s possible to be sweet about butt sex.
Windermere, Florida
Overheard by: I think that’s entirely possible…
Flamboyant art boy: So all that anal sex meant nothing to you?!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: voltaire
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: So, this is totally random, but if a gay black man has anal sex, do you think he can see if he has shit on his dick when he’s done?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Uh…
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: How sick would that be? I mean, they’re black. Well, actually, they’re brown. And shit is brown, you know? So how can they tell?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: I would hope they’d notice.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Think about it! Walking around with shit on your dick? Nasty.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Maybe that’s why some black people smell bad.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Oh my god! You’re so right. Ew! If I were a gay man, I’d never take it up the ass from a black guy.
530 Church Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Caryn
Sophomore #1: [Whispering.]Sophomore #2: Oh, dude! She is hot!
Sophomore #1: [Inaudible.]Sophomore #2: I would so fuck her!
Sophomore #1: [Inaudible.]Sophomore #2: Dude, I so would fuck her. Like, fuck her up the ass.
Mt. Tabor High School
North Carolina
Overheard by: eating lunch.
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist