Barista: I totally hate what rehab’s done to coffee houses.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/and_liquor_stores.html
Overheard by:
Barista: I totally hate what rehab’s done to coffee houses.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/and_liquor_stores.html
Overheard by:
Customer: I’d like some tea… Organic mint, please.
Barista: Okay, we have organic lemon and organic Earl Grey.
Customer: Um… Actually, I wanted the organic mint.
Barista: Oh, we have that, too.
Customer: Okay, then. That’s the one I’ll have.
Design Coffee shop, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Five-year-old boy to barista: I’m getting my pee-pee cut off tomorrow so I get a treat today!
Barista: Umm…
Mother to child: You are being circumcised, not mutilated! (to barista) It’s just a medical thing, he doesn’t really get it.
Starbucks
Carmel, Indiana
Bimbette: … You, like, learn to flip people on the mat. My mom knows how to do that. She works with retarded kids and they, like, have come at her with scissors and tried to cut her throat before.
Barista: That doesn’t sound like a job I’d want to have.
Bimbette: No, she loves it.
Starbucks
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: I just want my mocha, please
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I’ll have the Cobb salad with no croutons, no bacon, no egg, no cheese, and no avocado, with the chicken on a separate plate.
Sheepish waitress: That just leaves lettuce, tomato, and olives. You sure that’s all you want, ma’am?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I’m sure.
Sheepish waitress: It’d be cheaper to get a side salad and just add chicken.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No, I want a Cobb salad.
Sheepish waitress: It would be the same thing without all the toppings.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I. Want. A. Cobb. Salad!
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma’am. What kind of dressing would you like?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No dressing, please.
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma’am.
TGI Friday’s
Virginia
Dude: So, what is this? Like, an energy drink, too?
Barista: Nah, it’s just a soda.
Dude: Hmmm, white grape juice, filtered carbonated water… It does have like 22 grams of sugar, but I guess it’s like natural sugar, so it’s not so bad, right?
Barista: I don’t know, it might kill ya!
Dude: Yeah, but I think that things that kill you make you smarter.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Male customer: Since you’re new, I will order slowly. (proceeds to do so)
Cute female barista, after writing down: Okay, that wasn’t so hard!
Male customer: Oh, I’ll give you something hard… Oh, wait, did that come out wrong?
Roswell, Georgia
Friendly waitress, serious: Would you like to order a happy ending?
Lycoming Mall
Pennsdale, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: DazedinPA
Big and buff male barista to bigger and buffer male customer (excitedly): And then you can bring the tutu!
Maroubra Junction
Sydney
Australia
Jersey Shore fan: Can you put on Jersey Shore? It’s the reunion!
Bartender: Sure, I was kind of hoping someone would ask.
Female drinker: Wow, I am going to watch this dumbass show in a bar, is this happening?
Jersey Shore fan: You love it, don’t try to lie cause your boys are here.
Bartender: These people are crazy, and that’s why we watch.
Bar patron: I cant believe I am watching the reunion show without having seen a full episode. You are right: I cant stop watching this. What the fuck? Is her name J‑Lo?
Jersey Shore fan: J… Wow! She is awesome, snookie is my favorite. I wish I could be friends with her.
Bartender: You have enough slutty friends.
Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Earnie Hustleton
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist