Archive for the ‘Bartenders’ Category

And Can I Use Your Leg As a Scratch­ing Post?

Pa­tron #1: Kei­th is re­al­ly sor­ry to have act­ed like that.
Bar­tender: Does he even re­al­ize how drunk he was?
Pa­tron #1: I’m just say­ing, that is not the Kei­th we know
Pa­tron #2: [starts laugh­ing].
Bar­tender: Well, he is a nice guy, he just gets too drunk.
Pa­tron #1: I’m just let­ting you know, that ac­cord­ing to all the cats he knows, you are the me­ow [makes a paw­ing ges­ture].
Bar­tender: Okay, how drunk are you?
Pa­tron #2: He does­n’t even know who Kei­th is.
Pa­tron #1: Where are we?

Ben­ni­gans
Tam­pa, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Chris

What­ev­er. Starv­ing Chil­dren in Nige­ria Don’t Even Have Ear­lobes.

Bar­tender: Geez, Hank, you’re look­ing great these days. Been work­ing out?
Chub­by Jew­ish guy: Yeah. I tell ya, I’ve been try­ing to lose the spare tire, but I lost it all in my ear­lobes in­stead. It’s a cru­el world.

Suami’s In­dia Gar­den Restu­rant
Cincin­nati, Ohio

Over­heard by: Jee­bus McGee