That's What the Overhead Lights Are For

Flight attendant (on PA): Chances are they're all middle seats. Find the one with the most attractive people, and take it.

Southwest Flight over California

Overheard by: Armen

The Lipstick Kind, at Least?

Size 4 girl #1: I love H&M but it makes me feel so fat. I have to wear a size 6 or 8 when I shop here.
Size 4 girl #2: Yeah, and that vest makes you look like a lesbian.

H&M
Chicago, Illinois

…It's Medicinal!

Loud boyfriend: Where's the rest of it? You only needed five dollars for the hat. Where's the change?
Loud girlfriend: Give it a rest, Tommy. Okay, I gave you your change.
Loud boyfriend: You know, we need the fifteen dollars for the hotel, and I need hair gel.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Pbritches

Hope You Bitches Saved Me Some Weed

Mom: Why is the tv on with the mute on?
Daughter #1: Cause of the pretty moving pictures!
Daughter #2: Yeah! It's like an aquarium, but with Tom Hanks.

Upper Hutt
New Zealand

Overheard by: Kat

I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At

Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?

Starbucks
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Maggie

So I Won't Be Voting for Him for President

Gay man to friend: He's not hot enough to have AIDS!

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Rachel Kaiser

Riverdale Hasn't Been the Same Since Archie Went Off the Rails

Teenage girl #1: I mean, what's the point of dating an ugly, short, junior with herpes and acne if he doesn't even have his learner's permit?
Teenage girl #2: Shut up and eat.

Shari's Restaurant
Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: Claire

Nala Would Be an Animal in Bed, Though

Drunk college guy: Is that Nala?
Drunk college chick: She is so pretty… Don’t you think she’s pretty?
Drunk college guy: I’m not really into cartoons…[after several seconds] I gotta say, though, Kim pretty hot.

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Megan

In Recent Years, Mr. Rove’s Tastes Had Changed

Bra-less woman in tight pink polo shirt, to boyfriend: I asked Carl what his new girlfriend looked like, and he didn’t even hesitate — he just said, ‘Shrek’!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/07/green-around-gills.html

Overheard by: stephanie

But I've Thought About That, Too

Girl: Cara is so cute.
Guy: Yeah, she's adorable.
Girl: I mean, if I were a lesbian, I'd have sex with her.
Guy: I'm a little creeped out by that.
Girl: I mean, I've thought about it… (slight pause) I've never weighed myself!

Boston, Massachusetts