Very pregnant woman: I don’t want to have this baby. I don’t want to have to work all of this weight off.
Man: I think I should keep you pregnant. This is the least worst you’ve ever looked.
Hasting’s
Wichita Falls, Texas
Overheard by: mikeface
Drunk guy to two girls: No, really! My ultimate fantasy is to have sex with a ridiculously hot girl while you two are on the futon eating cheetos!
Aburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.
Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Girl on train: I usually do my arms, but then I look at Jane and her hairy arms and think, Man, if she can do it, I can, too!
http://overheardinsydney.blogspot.com/2006/02/when-in-rome-do-as-romans-do.html
Preschooler left alone in stroller, singing, to 20-something girl walking by: Cha, cha, cha…you’re charming!
20-something, on cell: I think I just got hit on by a four-year-old! No, it was actually better than most of the lines I’ve heard.
Appleton, Wisconsin
Jiu-Jitsu guy #1, rolling around and trying to choke the other: Oh, your hair’s soft today.
Jiu-Jitsu guy #2: Thanks, I used herbal essence this morning.
Indiana University
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Male teacher talking about student: Yeah, that ear infection made her go deaf. She wears one of those things in her head. The implant.
Meanest lady ever: Her life is over. You can’t be deaf and ugly. That is too many things.
Male teacher: She’s five!
Meanest lady ever: By six she’ll barely be a person.
Fairfield, Connecticut
Queer en route to Obama rally: Oh my god, he’s so cute. Do you think he’ll sign my ass for me?
Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Rachel Jane
Girl: I am going to show you guys my toe, and you’re gonna be sorry!
Cresson, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Girl #1, watching attractive guy: Du-ude, check that out!
Girl #2: Oooh. Yummy! (notices friend shamelessly ogling)
Girl #1: Elizabeth!! Put his clothes back on!
Yale University
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: You Can Take Mine Instead
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
