Archive for the ‘Beauty’ Category

…Once I Ran Out of Poop

Daugh­ter: Mom­my, mom­my, that dress makes you look six­teen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mom­my, if you were strand­ed in the desert with­out any wa­ter, what would you do?
Moth­er: [No re­sponse].
Daugh­ter: [to lit­tle sis­ter] I would eat my own blood.

Old Navy
Prom­e­nade Mall, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Claus­tro­pho­bic

The Orig­i­nal Mir­a­cle Work­er Screen­play Was Less Than In­spir­ing.

Male teacher talk­ing about stu­dent: Yeah, that ear in­fec­tion made her go deaf. She wears one of those things in her head. The im­plant.
Mean­est la­dy ever: Her life is over. You can’t be deaf and ug­ly. That is too many things.
Male teacher: She’s five!
Mean­est la­dy ever: By six she’ll bare­ly be a per­son.

Fair­field, Con­necti­cut