Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, “I want my pigeons!” But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world’s problems would be solved.
The Star Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Archive for the ‘Birds’ Category
Oh, in That Case I’d Be a Cheetah
Guy #1: Man, that movie was so good last night — I was so baked.
Guy #2: Yeah, that shit is so much better when you’re high.
Guy #1, after a pause: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
Guy #2: I don’t like birds.
Guy #3: I’d be a pterodactyl, dude.
Cafeteria line, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York
Potato, Potahto
Girl to pizza delivery guy: So that’s a meat feast, a ham and pineapple, a chicken supreme, and a Margherita for Amy because she’s a lesbian.
Amy: I’m a vegetarian!
Sheffield
England
Now Explain Why You’re Defecating on That Statue
Boyfriend on train: I always wanted to be a pigeon.
Incredulous girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Oh shit, I just thought that out loud.
Melbourne
Australia
You’d Prefer They Were Six Breasts All from the Same Chicken?
Bagger to cashier: There’s something mildly strange about a package that contains breasts… from different chickens.
Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: They were thighs actually, but I see your point.
Turkeys: Damn Right!
Brunette: Hold up — I just want to grab some turkey.
Redhead: Why?
Brunette: … So I can make a turkey sandwich?
Redhead: Yeah, I know, but we have chicken back home.
Brunette: Uh-huhhh — and I want a turkey sandwich.
Redhead: It’s the same thing.
Brunette: No. No, it’s not.
Redhead: Alright, then what’s the difference?
Brunette: … One’s a fucking turkey.
Long Island Super Market
Long Island, New York
In Fact, He’s Delicious
Captain on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, just wanted to let you know the reason this flight was delayed. The plane collided with a bird upon landing. It’s no big deal; it just hit a body part. The bird is okay.
Airport
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle (who is skeptical about the well-being of the bird)
Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”
30-something woman on cell: Yeah, the crow was annoying, but at least it wasn’t masturbating.
Framingham, Massachusetts
The Perils Of Undercooked Turducken
Guy on cell: And I was crouched down lookin’ up at her, and all of a sudden this teal duck shot out her ass! Pass me them field peas.
Louisiana
Overheard by: 2 tables over
I Knew You Didn’t Have Mono Last Year
Grad student trying to impress a date: Pigeon shit is the most toxic bird poop.
Date: How do you know that?!
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/sundays-best.html
Overheard by: squirrely mcsquirrel
