Environmental science teacher: What, in your opinion, is the most pressing environmental issue our planet faces today?
Clueless redhead, raising hand unsurely: Is it… The birds?
Environmental science teacher: Excuse me?
Clueless redhead: Isn’t there something up with birds? Like, aren’t they dying or something?
Environmental science teacher: Um… Thousands of different animals are dying…
Clueless redhead: Oh. I thought it was just birds.
High School
Los Angeles, California
Hotel guest exiting meeting: You know, in a case like this I would typically use the phrase, ‘I wouldn’t trust it as far as I could throw it,’ but I could throw that chicken pretty far.
The Phoenician Resort
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Accurate…
Guy: We could have been run over by trucks or seagulls.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
Girl to pizza delivery guy: So that’s a meat feast, a ham and pineapple, a chicken supreme, and a Margherita for Amy because she’s a lesbian.
Amy: I’m a vegetarian!
Sheffield
England
Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, “I want my pigeons!” But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world’s problems would be solved.
The Star Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Scruffy man with garbage bag to stranger: Want to buy some chicken breast?
Blue Line Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Captain on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, just wanted to let you know the reason this flight was delayed. The plane collided with a bird upon landing. It’s no big deal; it just hit a body part. The bird is okay.
Airport
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle (who is skeptical about the well-being of the bird)
Teacher: Sit the fuck down and stop acting like a bird!
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Middle-aged guy to 20-something girl: You could hire chickens, they’re not union!
BART
San Francisco, California
Guy with burger to friend, loudly: Penguins are fish, and fish don’t eat fish!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: kib
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
