Teacher: Sit the fuck down and stop acting like a bird!
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Archive for the ‘Birds’ Category
If They Don’t Perform, You Can Eat Them
Middle-aged guy to 20-something girl: You could hire chickens, they’re not union!
BART
San Francisco, California
Just Like Whales.
Guy with burger to friend, loudly: Penguins are fish, and fish don’t eat fish!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: kib
At Least She Correctly Identified Them As Birds.
High school girl, looking at seagulls feeding: That ain’t crows, them are ducks!
http://talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan
Except for Excrement on Outdoor Statues
Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, “I want my pigeons!” But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world’s problems would be solved.
The Star Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Oh, in That Case I’d Be a Cheetah
Guy #1: Man, that movie was so good last night — I was so baked.
Guy #2: Yeah, that shit is so much better when you’re high.
Guy #1, after a pause: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
Guy #2: I don’t like birds.
Guy #3: I’d be a pterodactyl, dude.
Cafeteria line, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York
Potato, Potahto
Girl to pizza delivery guy: So that’s a meat feast, a ham and pineapple, a chicken supreme, and a Margherita for Amy because she’s a lesbian.
Amy: I’m a vegetarian!
Sheffield
England
Now Explain Why You’re Defecating on That Statue
Boyfriend on train: I always wanted to be a pigeon.
Incredulous girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Oh shit, I just thought that out loud.
Melbourne
Australia
You’d Prefer They Were Six Breasts All from the Same Chicken?
Bagger to cashier: There’s something mildly strange about a package that contains breasts… from different chickens.
Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: They were thighs actually, but I see your point.
Turkeys: Damn Right!
Brunette: Hold up — I just want to grab some turkey.
Redhead: Why?
Brunette: … So I can make a turkey sandwich?
Redhead: Yeah, I know, but we have chicken back home.
Brunette: Uh-huhhh — and I want a turkey sandwich.
Redhead: It’s the same thing.
Brunette: No. No, it’s not.
Redhead: Alright, then what’s the difference?
Brunette: … One’s a fucking turkey.
Long Island Super Market
Long Island, New York
