Archive for the ‘Birds’ Category

Turkeys: Damn Right!

Brunette: Hold up — I just want to grab some turkey.
Red­head: Why?
Brunette: … So I can make a turkey sand­wich?
Red­head: Yeah, I know, but we have chick­en back home.
Brunette: Uh-huh­hh — and I want a turkey sand­wich.
Red­head: It’s the same thing.
Brunette: No. No, it’s not.
Red­head: Al­right, then what’s the dif­fer­ence?
Brunette: … One’s a fuck­ing turkey.

Long Is­land Su­per Mar­ket
Long Is­land, New York

In Fact, He’s De­li­cious

Cap­tain on in­ter­com: Ladies and gen­tle­men, just want­ed to let you know the rea­son this flight was de­layed. The plane col­lid­ed with a bird up­on land­ing. It’s no big deal; it just hit a body part. The bird is okay.

Air­port
Pitts­burgh, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: La­dle (who is skep­ti­cal about the well-be­ing of the bird)