Cab driver, ending phone call: That’s why you never marry a chick that’ll swallow for an extra $20. Can’t believe people like that are on Craigslist!
Boston, Massachusetts
Archive for the ‘BJs’ Category
Kenny Chesney Never Mentioned That
Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job…on a tractor.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shotboy
Trust Me– I Gave Derek His First Blow Job.
Sophomore girl #1: Did you hear Matt and Derek are going out now?
Sophomore girl #2: No way! I totally gave Matt his first blow job. He can’t be gay! (pauses) Oh my god! Do you think I turned him gay?
Passing junior guy: Yeah, that’d do it.
High School
Annapolis, Maryland
K‑Fed: Explained.
Scruffy guy: Shit, I’d suck dick for money. I’ve always kind of wished I was a girl so I could be a stripper… or a whore.
Gainesville, Florida
Cheney?
Distraught girl on Valentine’s Day: I can’t get over it, I don’t care if it’s a new hour. I still have the taste of dick in my mouth!
Las Vegas, Nevada
I Think Your Wife’s Getting Tired of Serving Me Tea
Girl on phone: Yes, I know you love me, but I’m not going to keep coming to the house you share with your wife to give you blowjobs whenever you want! (pause) You need to find somewhere else for us to do it.
London
England
But I Want to Be the Straight-shooter, If You Know What I Mean.
Male mountain biker: All we ever did was make out. And that’s not what I want in a relationship. If I wanted a hook-up buddy I’d at least get one who would suck my dick. I mean, there’s like 14 girls I could go to right now. So that’s why I broke up with her.
Female mountain biker: Yeah… She was pretty straightforward though, wasn’t she?
Crafton Hills, California
Overheard by: they didn’t even notice I was wearing hiking in slippers
I’m Gonna Ride This Science Project All the Way to Harvard
Enthusiastic teenager, waving hands emphatically: If you can deep throat a banana, you can suck a dick!
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: If you can wax a car…
Don’t Think About This Too Long, Dear Reader
Loud girl: Would you rather have cheese or oral sex?
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Emily
Ask Kevin Bacon
Concerned-looking boyfriend: Yes, but it might not be kosher.
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: I don’t think it’s an issue.
Concerned-looking boyfriend: I dunno… If I eat pork… And you suck me off… Does that mean my cum is non-kosher?
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: Sweetie, I told you, I’m Jewish, but when it comes to jizz I just don’t care.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
