Archive for the ‘BJs’ Category

The Blowjob Bun­ny Makes Her Rounds

Drunk chick: Look, this is go­ing to take five sec­onds. I just want to say hi, suck him off, and then we can leave.

http://greenoverheard.blogspot.com/2006/02/what-happened-to-shaking-hands.html

Over­heard by:

Imag­ine That.

Smokin’ hot Fil­ip­ina girl­friend: My friend said that I should use Pho­to­shop and imag­i­na­tion to do this. I have Pho­to­shop, but where can I get imag­i­na­tion? I’ve nev­er heard of it.
White boyfriend: You’re kid­ding me, right?
Smokin’ hot Fil­ip­ina girl­friend: What?
White boyfriend: There is no soft­ware called “imag­i­na­tion.” Just use your imag­i­na­tion. Duh!
Smokin’ hot Fil­ip­ina girl­friend: You’re so not get­ting a blowjob tonight.

Toron­to
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: The white boyfriend

Just Dip It in the Jar, Dude!

Queer: Would­n’t it be great if penis­es tast­ed like Nutel­la?
Fag hag: Un­for­tu­nate­ly, oral sex does­n’t give you an evo­lu­tion­ary ad­van­tage, so we’ll prob­a­bly nev­er evolve that way.

Mon­tre­al
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: premed

Best. Peer Ad­vi­sor. Ever.

Cu­ri­ous friend: Does­n’t your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That’s what my hands are for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: Don’t your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That’s what my mouth is for!
Cu­ri­ous friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that’s when he puts it in my butt.

Hobo­ken, New Jer­sey