Archive for the ‘BJs’ Category

But I Want to Be the Straight-shooter, If You Know What I Mean.

Male mountain biker: All we ever did was make out. And that’s not what I want in a relationship. If I wanted a hook-up buddy I’d at least get one who would suck my dick. I mean, there’s like 14 girls I could go to right now. So that’s why I broke up with her.
Female mountain biker: Yeah… She was pretty straightforward though, wasn’t she?

Crafton Hills, California

Overheard by: they didn’t even notice I was wearing hiking in slippers

Ask Kevin Bacon

Concerned-looking boyfriend: Yes, but it might not be kosher.
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: I don’t think it’s an issue.
Concerned-looking boyfriend: I dunno… If I eat pork… And you suck me off… Does that mean my cum is non-kosher?
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: Sweetie, I told you, I’m Jewish, but when it comes to jizz I just don’t care.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Or Is It “Giving Head”?

Professor: Suppose a woman goes in for a haircut. No, that’s not right! What are they called if they’re for women? Blow-something. Blowjobs?

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/11/01/a‑guy-walks-in-and-asks-for-just-a-little-off-the-top/

Overheard by: econ 208

Nobody Can Do Sexual Harassment Like the Insane

Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger’s face: I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren’t jumpin’ last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma’am, don’t say that to me! You don’t know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there’s a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma’am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin’ to fuck me standing up!? Why don’t you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma’am, I’m calling the police.

Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania