Drunk girl on cell: What? … I’m so drunk I can’t even hear… I want to do naughty things to you… So, you’re saying if I were to lick and suck you, you wouldn’t care?
Fiddler’s Green
Winter Park, Florida
Overheard by: grossed out because she’s not even cute
Curious friend: Doesn't your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That's what my hands are for!
Curious friend: Don't your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That's what my mouth is for!
Curious friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that's when he puts it in my butt.
Hoboken, New Jersey
Enthusiastic teenager, waving hands emphatically: If you can deep throat a banana, you can suck a dick!
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: If you can wax a car…
Nerdy girl to Asian friend: I mean, it was pathetic. I could've had my top off and had a sign around my neck that said “free blowjobs” and they wouldn't have noticed. They were all crowded around Mike watching him play Pokemon.
Chicago, Illinois
Girl on cell: Yes, that’s exactly how I want to die! You driving us drunk down the highway at a hundred miles per hour while I give you head and you use one hand to play with my tits and the other to shift gears!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Anne
White girl: Bite his face!
Asian girl: Ew, no! It's all hairy!
White girl: Sometimes you need to do things that you don't like. Like biting a hairy face, for example. Or putting balls in your mouth to get back your Breakfast Club movie…
Asian girl: Oh, you poor thing.
New Jersey
Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.
Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee
Guy: That dude's gonna get a blowjob in 20 minutes.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Kid: Woah, you just blew my mind!
Teacher: That's not all I'll blow.
High School
Pennsylvania
Male mountain biker: All we ever did was make out. And that's not what I want in a relationship. If I wanted a hook-up buddy I'd at least get one who would suck my dick. I mean, there's like 14 girls I could go to right now. So that's why I broke up with her.
Female mountain biker: Yeah… She was pretty straightforward though, wasn't she?
Crafton Hills, California
Overheard by: they didn't even notice I was wearing hiking in slippers