Debbie Does Dallas, Eh?

Bar manager: So, did you watch that film I gave you?
Bouncer: Yeah, man — I couldn’t get past the opening credits without a box of tissues.

Bar
Westchester, New York

Overheard by: Tom

Today’s Young Woman Is Proud to Display Everything She’s Got

Library worker girl: That’s a cute bag.
Library worker girl with clear purse: Thanks!
Boss man: But then everyone can see everything you have!
Library worker girl with clear purse: It’s not like I got a gun or anything… I can always hide things between the books…
Library worker girl: Like your gun?

Kent State University Library
Kent, Ohio

Times Are Tough in Michigan, Dear Reader

Architect, describing high school renovations to student body: And these will be new bathrooms.
Boy: Fuck yeah! New bathrooms!
(thunderous applause)

St. Joseph, Michigan

Are You a Happy Cramper?

Girl, bursting into meeting: I just caught my period, yo!
Administrator, looking up: Congratulations?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Me

Is This More Of Your Zen Crap?

Patron #1: Yeah, but everything’s different in Hawaii. You can’t even buy land there unless you were born there.
Patron #2: Actually, you can.
Patron #1: Yeah, but all their laws are different than ours.
Patron #2: You know that Hawaii is a state, right?

Starbucks
California

Right Now, Looks Like It’s All in Your Hair.

Director to actress playing Johanna in Sweeney Todd: I just want to see a little spunk on your face.

Reno, Nevada

Overheard by: CarvingMyNiche

In Unrelated News, Want Some Homemade Cookies?

Manager of restaurant to guy leaving restroom: I know we don’t have paper towels in there. I am getting some right now.
Guy: It’s okay. I never wash my hands anyway.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/362523566/dont-come-back-now.html

Overheard by: that guy’s girlfriend

At the Pachydermatologists’ Convention

Scruffy, hurried foreman with clipboard, on Bluetooth: It’s the elephants. You’ve got to dial in the elephants. It’s interfering with your microphone!

Financial District
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: PerplexedPachyderm

Which Is Why I Had You Guys Do Those Practice Drills Earlier

Volunteer director to group of teenage volunteers: Now, ya gotta be careful or the tractor tires will catch on fire.
Teenage volunteers: (incredulous laughter)
Volunteer director: No, seriously! Last year they caught on fire and I totally had to pee on them!

Sonoma County, California

Overheard by: where was I last year?!

Especially When You’re Black.

Manager: Pants off is the new black.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/05/new-black.html

Overheard by: fool