Archive for the ‘Bragging’ Category

But I Want to Be the Straight-shooter, If You Know What I Mean.

Male mountain biker: All we ever did was make out. And that’s not what I want in a relationship. If I wanted a hook-up buddy I’d at least get one who would suck my dick. I mean, there’s like 14 girls I could go to right now. So that’s why I broke up with her.
Female mountain biker: Yeah… She was pretty straightforward though, wasn’t she?

Crafton Hills, California

Overheard by: they didn’t even notice I was wearing hiking in slippers

… Or Saw Me?

College girl to her family: … And this is where I peed last night!
Security guard: [Applauds.]College girl: You think he heard me?

French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Security Guard

Instead, I’ll Discuss Your Pain With This Complete Stranger

Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Richmond, Virginia