Archive for the ‘Brazil’ Category

Steven Segal Is: Out for Vagina

Brunette: Why are you laughing?
Redhead: I have this thing I do in video stores where I replace one word of the movie title with ‘vagina.‘
Brunette: So?
Redhead: Dude, where’s my vagina?

Video store
São Paulo

And Hire a Tampon-Charmer to Make It Dance

Guy #1: I always wanted to open the door wearing nothing but a t‑shirt and socks.
Girl #1 (pondering): I think that would be truly amazing. I don’t know what would be more shocking, the penis or the socks. Probably the socks.
Girl #2: I guess I could do that next time you guys come over… Just (gesticulates around body) shirt and socks.
Guy #2: Naah. It wouldn’t be that great, you not having a penis and all.
Girl #2: Oh, I guess I could wear a tampon! (puts finger in front of crotch and makes a “snakey” motion)

House Party
Pinheiros, Sao Paulo

Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.

Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald’s. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.

Belo Horizonte