Archive for the ‘Bringing it back to you’ Category

So Anyway, He Killed Himself to Spite Me

Girl #1: Oh my god, so remember how Ben stopped talking to me and I was pissed but now I’m totally over it and whatever? Well, it turns out that what I didn’t know was that his mother was dying and he was held up at knife point for like 20 minutes and was going through post-traumatic stress… And then I went home for reading week and didn’t call him because I thought he wasn’t talking to me, and that was apparently, like, the straw that broke the camel’s back — like, he really needed me and I wasn’t there for him or something.
Girl #2: Wow. It’s like, ‘Thanks for making me feel like a total bitch.‘
Girl #1: I know!

Why Right Said Fred Could Not Sustain Their Popularity

Guy #1: Just admit it, man.
Guy #2: Admit what? That I’m great and wonderful and perfect in every way shape and form? Alright, I’m great and wonderful and perfect in every way shape and form!
Guy #1: No, admit that you’re crazier than me!
Guy #2: Yeah, well…you’re just Mr “Too sexy for my shirt,” and I’m Mr “Too sexy for my life,” but seriously, I’m so smart and everyone loves me.
Guy #3: You’re just lyin’ to yourself, man.
Guy #2: I’m too sexy for the world! That’s just the way it is. I’m the next Albert Einstein. Everyone will soon realize that they love me. You all know that I’m right, so say that I am always right! You’re dumb and I’m smart. Everyone loves me.
Bus driver: Will you guys be quiet? No one wants to hear this!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Lulu