Worried suit: That’s why we get our chairs cleaned more than any other department. We get our chairs cleaned every three months. Why doesn’t anyone put a stop to this?
Metro Bus
Seattle, Washington
Archive for the ‘Bus’ Category
And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days
Guy in suit: I said, “It’s better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now.”
Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jo
I Just Want to Graduate, I Don’t Want to Know Anything
Undergrad on cell: And the paper has to be, like, 10 to 12 pages long! (pause) I know! I’m like, “I’m not writing my freaking thesis here!”
Bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Which Is Why AA Gives You a Sponsor and Some New Friends
Girl on bus: I’ve been trying to quit drinking and she was all like, “have some juice with me!” And then she pulls out a half gallon of vodka, and I’m all, “bitch, what you doing?”
Seattle, Washington
If You Figure This One Out, Let Us Know
Tayal tribesman bus driver: Sir, do you want to get off at this stop?
Old man: Yes, I want off at this stop, I am going to the dentist’s.
Bus driver: What’s wrong?
Old man: I have to have a tooth pulled. Can you believe that? I’m 82 but I still have to have a tooth pulled.
Bus driver: If you’re going to have one pulled, you may as well have a bunch taken out.
Old man: That won’t do, false teeth are expensive.
Bus driver: Then have boar tusks put in.
Old man: Boar tusks?
Bus driver (very earnestly): Yes, you can have two tusks put in on the lower jaw, and when they grow, they’ll look great! (uses his fingers to demonstrate how the tusks would look growing out of his mouth)
Old man (laughing): It would take a long time for them to grow.
Bus driver: Not long! You’re an old boar, but I’m just a young boar, so yours would grow much faster than mine!
(old man gets off bus laughing cheerfully)
http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html#4067720002953022860
Overheard by: Yugan Dali
The New Oxyclean Commercials Aren’t for Everyone
Young man on cell: So there’s someone cleaning their floor with the blood of one of their relatives, and it’s like…a bit much, you know?
Bus, Denmark Hill
London
England
Overheard by: trying not to turn around
Snaggleteeth Are in This Season
Woman: There’s nothing in my mouth that I’m ashamed of!
87 Bus
Jersey City, New Jersey
But It Was a Planned Incarceration
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can’t believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you’re supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn’t! You were not fucking there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Muthafucker you were in jail!
Bus
Iowa State University, Iowa
Overheard by: Casey
Cats Are Hypersensitive to Comma Faults
Boy: So why did you move here?
Girl: I was gonna go to art school and then I wrote this big essay and my cat shit on it.
Boy: Literally shit on it?
Girl: Yeah, I took it as a sign.
18 Bus
Seattle, Washington
A Mom Can Dream, Can’t She?
Angry mother on the bus: Come here and sit down!
Four-year-old: No, it’s okay. I’m being good.
Angry mother: This bus is going to stop suddenly and you’re going to fall down and crack your head open on one of the bars, and before the bus gets back around to the hospital you will bleed to death!
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: jeff
