Archive for the ‘Bus’ Category

Weirdest. Job Interview. Ever.

Man on cell in very quiet bus: Look. I took the pills, I put the powder in my pants, I don’t have cooties anymore!

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Kat from Tacoma

Wait ‘Til They Do “The Thong Song” in Middle English

Girls, singing: My milkshake bringeth the lads in the square, prithee, ’tis better than yours, ’tis better than yours, I could teach thee, but I’d levy a fee.

4 Bus
Victoria
Canadia

Overheard by: Fair maiden Juliet

Do You Mean It, or Are You Just Using Her for Sex?

Girl on cell: I said “I love you” like three years ago. Why? When was the last time you said it?
[pause]Girl on cell, shocked: Ew! To who, you whorebag?!
[pause]Girl on cell, incredulous: You say “I love you” to your mom?

200 Bus
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: likewhoa

My Technique’s Right Out Of The Shaolin Cookbook

Girl on bus: So, I’m like: “Bitch, you can’t question my big fork usage!”

99 Bus
Vancouver
Canadia

Doesn’t Look Good

Young dude in car to children getting off school bus: You are the future!

Westport, Connecticut

Overheard by: Elisabeth

…Which I Use for My Other Job

(on a bus passing city jail)
Mom: Look kids… that’s where daddy is.
(pause)
Mom: I can give you a haircut.
Man: I like the lady who does my hair, she has good mirrors so I can see the back of my head.
Mom: I’ve got good mirrors. I’ve got mirrors on the ceiling, too.

Bus
Omaha, Nebraska

Why Ball-Gags Exist.

Girl #1: You should get you some.
Girl #2: I don’t think I could handle the stupidity. I ruined my fantasy by talking to him.

Bus
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: always a problem

Maintenance: “When You Put an End to Nude Chair-Hockey, Then We’ll Talk”

Worried suit: That’s why we get our chairs cleaned more than any other department. We get our chairs cleaned every three months. Why doesn’t anyone put a stop to this?

Metro Bus
Seattle, Washington