Girls, singing: My milkshake bringeth the lads in the square, prithee, ’tis better than yours, ’tis better than yours, I could teach thee, but I’d levy a fee.
4 Bus
Victoria
Canadia
Overheard by: Fair maiden Juliet
Archive for the ‘Bus’ Category
Do You Mean It, or Are You Just Using Her for Sex?
Girl on cell: I said “I love you” like three years ago. Why? When was the last time you said it?
[pause]Girl on cell, shocked: Ew! To who, you whorebag?!
[pause]Girl on cell, incredulous: You say “I love you” to your mom?
200 Bus
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: likewhoa
My Technique’s Right Out Of The Shaolin Cookbook
Girl on bus: So, I’m like: “Bitch, you can’t question my big fork usage!”
99 Bus
Vancouver
Canadia
Doesn’t Look Good
Young dude in car to children getting off school bus: You are the future!
Westport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Elisabeth
…Which I Use for My Other Job
(on a bus passing city jail)
Mom: Look kids… that’s where daddy is.
(pause)
Mom: I can give you a haircut.
Man: I like the lady who does my hair, she has good mirrors so I can see the back of my head.
Mom: I’ve got good mirrors. I’ve got mirrors on the ceiling, too.
Bus
Omaha, Nebraska
Why Ball-Gags Exist.
Girl #1: You should get you some.
Girl #2: I don’t think I could handle the stupidity. I ruined my fantasy by talking to him.
Bus
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: always a problem
Maintenance: “When You Put an End to Nude Chair-Hockey, Then We’ll Talk”
Worried suit: That’s why we get our chairs cleaned more than any other department. We get our chairs cleaned every three months. Why doesn’t anyone put a stop to this?
Metro Bus
Seattle, Washington
And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days
Guy in suit: I said, “It’s better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now.”
Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jo
I Just Want to Graduate, I Don’t Want to Know Anything
Undergrad on cell: And the paper has to be, like, 10 to 12 pages long! (pause) I know! I’m like, “I’m not writing my freaking thesis here!”
Bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Which Is Why AA Gives You a Sponsor and Some New Friends
Girl on bus: I’ve been trying to quit drinking and she was all like, “have some juice with me!” And then she pulls out a half gallon of vodka, and I’m all, “bitch, what you doing?”
Seattle, Washington
