Drunken teenage girl, dancing down the street: I taste like fucking condoms!
Toronto, Canadia
Archive for the ‘Canadia’ Category
Why She Shops at The Gap.
Chickie #1: You have a hole in your jeans.
Chickie #2: I love my hole!
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The Old Man
If It's Bobbing for Saviors, Count Me Out.
Sunday school teacher: We're going to play a fun game next! Does anybody want to guess what it is?
Five-year-old student: Take of our shirts and pants?
Sunday school teacher: No!
Sunday School Classroom
Fredericton
Canadia
Overheard by: Andrew
Why Genies Are Wasted on Blondes
Red-headed friend to blonde friend: If I had a special power it would be to fly!
Blonde friend, seriously: If I had a special power I would have a microwave in my mouth so that I could cook anything I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Red-headed friend: You could never get salmonella again!
Blonde friend: I know, right? It's my best idea yet!
Canada's Wonderland
Toronto
Canadia
And a Fascist Participates in “Facials”?
Wadsworth character in the movie Clue: You see, my secret is that my wife was a socialist.
Girl watching the film: So, does that mean that she was a prostitute or something?
French class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Imagine That.
Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: My friend said that I should use Photoshop and imagination to do this. I have Photoshop, but where can I get imagination? I've never heard of it.
White boyfriend: You're kidding me, right?
Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: What?
White boyfriend: There is no software called “imagination.” Just use your imagination. Duh!
Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: You're so not getting a blowjob tonight.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: The white boyfriend
She Also Found Fifty Cents, a Rubber Band, and a Playbill from Cats
(during a film in a movie theater)
Girl #1 (whispering): Ow, something's itching me–I think there's something in my bra. (gasps) Oh my god!
Girl #2: What is it!?
Girl #1: I just found a condom in my bra and I think it was from last night but I don't remember putting it there!
Ontario
Canadia
Just Remember: “There Are No Small Parts…”
Girl #1: Why is it that so many midgets end up getting into acting? There must be a shortage of midget actors…
Girl #2: Shortage?
Sault Ste Marie
Ontario
Canadia
I Prefer to Think Of Them As My “Solar Panels”
(blind shuts in lounge area, blocking really bright sunshine, everybody quickly looks up)
Hot Chinese girl: Hey!
Friend: And finally they drop the blinds. My eyes were starting to hurt.
Hot Chinese girl: But I like the sunshine! It's so bright and warm and it emphasizes my boobs by casting shadows on my chest!
University of Toronto
Canadia
Your Editors Pray She's Not from the U.S.
Tourist woman to wheelchair-bound local: Can you point me in the right direction?
Wheelchair-bound local: Yep, it's straight down that way.
Tourist woman: Okay…but is it walkable?
St. Lawrence Market
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: kingdubby