Mom, yelling to small boy as he wanders towards street performer: Fine, if that’s what you want, get stolen!
Ottawa
Canadia
Archive for the ‘Canadia’ Category
Like a University Professor Ever Has to Pay for It
Statistics professor: So let's say we ask a random question, such as “have you had unprotected sex with a prostitute in the last week?”.
(class laughs)
Statistics professor: Most people would answer “no.” Including myself. I'll leave it up to you to decide if that's the truth or not.
University of Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Danielle
Don't Bite the Hand That Grades You
Annoying professor, about optical illusion on slide: What do you all see here?
Student: A moron with tenure.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
I Promise the Social Worker Isn't Watching
Oblivious 12-year-old in pool, surrounded by floaty toys: Hey, hold my noodle while I mount this whale.
Victoria
Canadia
The Secret Is to Keep Moving Fast
Teen girl #1: So what you’re saying is, when I fart I’m smelling my own shit-smell?
Teen girl #2: Exactly. That’s how it works.
Teen girl #1: That’s nasty. I can’t believe people do that all day!
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Sass
Thank Goodness I Had That Removed
Professor: So a nasal quality of voice would be–you all know who Fran Drescher is, right?
Emo kid: She hurts my soul.
Memorial University, St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
I Once Tried to Chew a Bathroom Tile and Ended Up in the Hospital for a Week
Girl to friends: Is butter a mineral? I can't eat minerals.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Actually I think it's a vegetable
Mom Has Very High Standards
Lazy girl: So, I told my mom that you and I were going to take tennis lessons together in the summer.
Workout friend: Oh, yeah? What did she say?
Lazy girl: She just laughed at me.
Workout friend: Why?
Lazy friend: She said I was too slow, uncoordinated, and she didn’t outright say it, but I’m sure she thinks I’m mildly retarded.
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: A mild case of the ADD
Let's Ask the Jews to Be on Our Side, Though
Teen girl to friend: We could be like the next Hitler, but cooler!
Friend: Oooh, awesome!
Toronto
Canadia
And the Knee Socks Were Only a Little Help
Concerned guy: So, were you wearing a loincloth?
Friend: See, that's the thing, I don't know.
Memorial University
St. John's, Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel