Archive for the ‘Candy’ Category

I’m Not Proud of My Addiction

Male student: I like your Skittles.
Female student: Don’t look at them!

Eveleth, Minnesota

Overheard by: deathmap

Who We Are As Kids Is Who We Are in Life

Friend #1: Do you remember when we were little and I used to show the neighbor’s boys my boobs so they’d give me candy? Bet you’re glad I stopped doing that!
Friend #2: What are you talking about? The only thing that’s changed is your form of payment! You just finished telling everyone not two minutes ago how last week you won $200 on amateur’s night when you went to the strip club with the guys!

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

So “Oreo Cook” Isn’t a Racial Slur?

Girl: I’ll have the chocolate peanut butter car crunch.
Cashier teenage boy: Ummmm… Yeah, the “car” actually stands for “caramel”.

Gelato Spot
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Fake Blonde

The Lassie “E! True Hollywood Story” Was Too Controversial for TV

40-something suit: You know how sometimes you can love a dog so much it’s, like, illegal?
40-something woman: (looks at him blankly)
40-something suit: You know? So that it’s, like, illegal?
40-something woman, looking straight ahead: Umm, let’s look at Halloween candy.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/438564745/calling-peta.html

Overheard by: I love my dog, but not that much

You’re Not Sure What to Bite Off First

Chick to friend: I really thought the chocolate Jesus with the giant dick would sell!

Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri

Overheard by: Carri Jo

Um, What?

Tired restaurant patron: Why would Reese’s Pieces put out rhesus monkeys? That’s just wrong!

Restaurant
Ocala, Florida

Overheard by: Fully aware restaurant patron

Burned My Eyebrows Off More Than Once

Girl #1: It’s like those candy cigarettes you used to get at Halloween. It teaches kids bad principles.
Girl #2: Those taste like crap anyway.
Guy: Yeah, and they never catch.

Boone, North Carolina

Also, I’m Having Company Tonight, So You’ll Have to Find Another Place to Sleep

Young boy to father: Dad, I really wanted that chocolate cereal, did you buy some for me?
Father: No.
Young boy: Why not?
Father: Listen, I’d also prefer it if you stayed at your mom’s all the time. But do we always get what we want? No.

Subway
Vienna
Austria