Archive for the ‘Candy’ Category

Who We Are As Kids Is Who We Are in Life

Friend #1: Do you remember when we were little and I used to show the neighbor’s boys my boobs so they’d give me candy? Bet you’re glad I stopped doing that!
Friend #2: What are you talking about? The only thing that’s changed is your form of payment! You just finished telling everyone not two minutes ago how last week you won $200 on amateur’s night when you went to the strip club with the guys!

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

The Lassie “E! True Hollywood Story” Was Too Controversial for TV

40-something suit: You know how sometimes you can love a dog so much it’s, like, illegal?
40-something woman: (looks at him blankly)
40-something suit: You know? So that it’s, like, illegal?
40-something woman, looking straight ahead: Umm, let’s look at Halloween candy.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/438564745/calling-peta.html

Overheard by: I love my dog, but not that much

Um, What?

Tired restaurant patron: Why would Reese’s Pieces put out rhesus monkeys? That’s just wrong!

Restaurant
Ocala, Florida

Overheard by: Fully aware restaurant patron