Guy: It was like trying to pull candy from a baby.
West Island
Montreal
Canadia
Archive for the ‘Candy’ Category
One With a Minimum-Wage Support Staff
Student to college secretary: Have any peppermints?
Receptionist: As in candy?
Student: Yeah. Peppermints.
Receptionist: Um, no?
Student: What kind of a dumb-ass school doesn’t have peppermints?!?
University for Women
Mississippi
Overheard by: Megan S.
Might Be Time to Block Cinemax, Mom
Little girl to popsicle: And then I’m going to lick you and suck on you until you melt all over me.
Concerned mother: Kelly! I told you not to talk to popsicles!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/347772608/that-one-is-going-to-be-a-handful.html
Overheard by: Ian
I’m Not Proud of My Addiction
Male student: I like your Skittles.
Female student: Don’t look at them!
Eveleth, Minnesota
Overheard by: deathmap
Who We Are As Kids Is Who We Are in Life
Friend #1: Do you remember when we were little and I used to show the neighbor’s boys my boobs so they’d give me candy? Bet you’re glad I stopped doing that!
Friend #2: What are you talking about? The only thing that’s changed is your form of payment! You just finished telling everyone not two minutes ago how last week you won $200 on amateur’s night when you went to the strip club with the guys!
Eau Claire, Wisconsin
So “Oreo Cook” Isn’t a Racial Slur?
Girl: I’ll have the chocolate peanut butter car crunch.
Cashier teenage boy: Ummmm… Yeah, the “car” actually stands for “caramel”.
Gelato Spot
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Fake Blonde
The Lassie “E! True Hollywood Story” Was Too Controversial for TV
40-something suit: You know how sometimes you can love a dog so much it’s, like, illegal?
40-something woman: (looks at him blankly)
40-something suit: You know? So that it’s, like, illegal?
40-something woman, looking straight ahead: Umm, let’s look at Halloween candy.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/438564745/calling-peta.html
Overheard by: I love my dog, but not that much
You’re Not Sure What to Bite Off First
Chick to friend: I really thought the chocolate Jesus with the giant dick would sell!
Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Carri Jo
Um, What?
Tired restaurant patron: Why would Reese’s Pieces put out rhesus monkeys? That’s just wrong!
Restaurant
Ocala, Florida
Overheard by: Fully aware restaurant patron
Burned My Eyebrows Off More Than Once
Girl #1: It’s like those candy cigarettes you used to get at Halloween. It teaches kids bad principles.
Girl #2: Those taste like crap anyway.
Guy: Yeah, and they never catch.
Boone, North Carolina
