Friend #1: Do you remember when we were little and I used to show the neighbor’s boys my boobs so they’d give me candy? Bet you’re glad I stopped doing that!
Friend #2: What are you talking about? The only thing that’s changed is your form of payment! You just finished telling everyone not two minutes ago how last week you won $200 on amateur’s night when you went to the strip club with the guys!
Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Girl: I’ll have the chocolate peanut butter car crunch.
Cashier teenage boy: Ummmm… Yeah, the “car” actually stands for “caramel”.
Gelato Spot
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Fake Blonde
40-something suit: You know how sometimes you can love a dog so much it’s, like, illegal?
40-something woman: (looks at him blankly)
40-something suit: You know? So that it’s, like, illegal?
40-something woman, looking straight ahead: Umm, let’s look at Halloween candy.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/438564745/calling-peta.html
Overheard by: I love my dog, but not that much
Chick to friend: I really thought the chocolate Jesus with the giant dick would sell!
Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Carri Jo
Tired restaurant patron: Why would Reese’s Pieces put out rhesus monkeys? That’s just wrong!
Restaurant
Ocala, Florida
Overheard by: Fully aware restaurant patron
Girl #1: It’s like those candy cigarettes you used to get at Halloween. It teaches kids bad principles.
Girl #2: Those taste like crap anyway.
Guy: Yeah, and they never catch.
Boone, North Carolina
Young boy to father: Dad, I really wanted that chocolate cereal, did you buy some for me?
Father: No.
Young boy: Why not?
Father: Listen, I’d also prefer it if you stayed at your mom’s all the time. But do we always get what we want? No.
Subway
Vienna
Austria
Girl: It was a land of chocolate and a land of Lego. It was glorious.
Random guy, walking by: Glorious!
University of Central Florida
Philosophy professor: I can’t say I would rather have M&Ms than strong feet.
SUNY Purchase
Purchase, New York
Overheard by: Seth
Woman with two toddlers, ordering cake: I need a P‑E-N-I‑S cake…
Manager, walking in, gleefully oblivious: Ohhh, a penis cake! We can put fake hair on it. Last time, we had fake semen shooting out…
Huntington, California
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
