Archive for the ‘Candy’ Category

Crazy Like a Bun­ny

Old­er woman, pick­ing up a bag of pep­per­mints: I still have can­dy corn out from Hal­loween. Is it okay to have pep­per­mints and can­dy corn out at the same time?
Younger woman: What do I look like, Miss Man­ners? You’ve been to my house…you know there’s still East­er can­dy out in my can­dy dish­es. And un­til that goes, I’m not putting any­thing else out.
Old­er woman: Now I un­der­stand why your chil­dren are crazy.

Gro­cery Store
Hamil­ton, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Cur­rrly!

See– Blood! Ha­ha! I Win!

Kid stop­ping to look at ob­ject on the ground: Look, glass!
Fa­ther: That’s a lol­ly.
Kid: No, it’s glass!
Fa­ther: It is­n’t glass, it’s a lol­ly.
(kid picks up ob­ject and puts it in his mouth)
Kid: No, it’s glass.


Over­heard by: Nev­er found out what it was.

Kid Sur­pris­es Are Fun, but Il­le­gal

Woman #1, ap­proach­ing reg­is­ter counter: Ooh! Kinder eggs! I love those things!
Woman #2: What are they?
Woman #1: They’re choco­late! With some­thing in­side!
Cashier: They’re hol­low choco­late eggs.
Woman #1: With a sur­prise in­side!
Woman #2: Ew!
Cashier: It’s a toy.
Woman #2: Oh. A toy.
Cashier: Whoa, okay, just imag­ine you were a kid again, and what a sur­prise meant when you were a kid.
Woman #2: I know… I know. It’s just, adult sur­pris­es are nev­er fun.
Woman #1, walk­ing out of store: What were you think­ing it was go­ing to be? A pe­nis that would squirt all over you?
Woman #2: You nev­er know! Adult sur­pris­es are al­ways bad!

San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia