Professor: I want to please you… Not with goats, but with sentences.
Greek Class
UCLA, California
Overheard by: shepherd
Archive for the ‘Class’ Category
You Can Cry Afterwards and He Can’t Tell
Girl: It’s not “oh, I got laid underwater.” It’s that I got to know the person and got close to them before I went underwater.
Psychology Class
University of Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
…A Metaphor I Would Know Nothing About
Professor: The Government was spending money like a drunken sailor in a Tijuana whorehouse.
Macroeconomics Class
University of California
Overheard by: Econometrically Bored
Isn’t Saying “We’re Texas Lutherans” Sufficient?
Professor: Everyone who thinks it’s this answer jump up and say, “I’m brilliant!”
(nobody moves)
Professor: Everyone who thinks it’s this answer jump up and say, “I’m not so brilliant, yet.”
(nobody moves)
Professor: Everyone else jump up and say, “I’m inhibited!”
Organic Chemistry Class
Texas Lutheran University
Overheard by: Kimberly
Unlike My Grading Scale
Professor: The guillotine was humane. It was just humane many thousands of times.
Oberlin, Ohio
Overheard by: Secret Spy
The Large Group Ones Are a Logistical Nightmare
Peer-taught health class leader: Small group condom practice! Wooot!
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
A+
Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.
Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania
Now That Metal Rods Are the Latest Fashion Craze
Teacher: Okay, now what you do think is the chance of being killed by being struck by lightning?
Bimbette: Ummmm… probably like, one in two.
Class: (silence)
Teacher: One in two?
Bimbette: Wait! Make that one in ten.
Classroom
Sydney
Australia
Anybody Have Any Bread?
(student coughs violently into hands, spewing fake blood)
Lit professor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Student: (coughing up more blood) Can I go to the bathroom?
Lit professor: Oh my god, go, go!
(student leaves)
Lit professor: (realizing it’s April 1st) Haha… His consumption smells like raspberries.
Colorado University, Boulder
Overheard by: In the back of the classroom
Dude, Just Make an Audio-Visual Geek Your Friend
Music history professor, putting a CD in the player: And now we pray to the god of CDs. It’s not good to be a teacher with CDs. They are very stupid things. [Pause.] …It’s not good to be a teacher, perhaps that’s what it is.
Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland
