A Nightmare I Thought Had Ended in the Mid-90’s

Mother: Hey, you could get a job at Build-A-Bear.
Exasperated daughter: No I couldn’t, they have to wear khaki pants and denim shirts.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/324349984/its-practically-oppression.html

Overheard by: what?s wrong with that?

She Was Like, “Your Dad Really Enjoys Puttin’ on the Ritz, Honey!”

20-something girl to table of people: And I was like, “Whoa, mom – your nipples are like top hats!”

Kasey’s Tavern
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Sara

I’m Saving Those for the Yearbook

Ambiguous boy, yelling to friend across hall: And no pictures of me without pants!

High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Dad Won’t Let Me

Girl #1: Oh, hey! I’m wearing a purple bra today!
Girl #2: Why is that a surprise? Don’t you dress yourself?

Fitting Rooms
Morwell Shopping Centre
Australia

Overheard by: Ann

For the Same Reason I Like Tightly-Wrapped Christmas Presents

(a couple at the checkout counter buying nylons)
Girl: I’m really excited for these tights.
Guy (excessively excited): Me too!

Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia

With a Clatter, Suzette’s Mind Blew Open

Professor, reading student midterm reviews of his teaching style: When asked the question, “what would help you understand the material better?” someone wrote “if you wore a thong.” My answer to that is, “how do you know I’m not?”
(class erupts in laughter)

University of Michigan, Dearborn

Overheard by: Nehal

It’s Been There Since the Eighties

Woman to friend: He didn’t know what to do with his chicken, so he stuffed it in his pants.

Stanley Park
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: shiz

…When We Run Out Of Saran Wrap.

Roommate #1: Do you want to go clothes shopping for spring break?
Roommate #2, making disgusted face: I don’t wear clothes on spring break.
Roommate #1: (long pause)
Roommate #2: I just wear a bathing suit.

University of Michigan, Ann Arbor

Overheard by: Roommate #3

…Without My French Maid Outfit On!

Man on cell: I can’t dust your house today, I’m dusting Amanda’s. (pause) No, I’m dusting yours tomorrow. (very long pause) Well, then I don’t know why I’m carrying around this dust-rag, I feel silly!

7‑Eleven
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Madeline

Why Horror Porn Exists.

Nerdy girl to three friends: Of course you run the risk of showing your underpants, but in the face of zombies, I wouldn’t mind so much.

University of King’s College
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: