Yuppie: So then this guy jumped out wearing a ski mask and at first I laughed, but then I realized he was black!
Goshen, Indiana
Overheard by: Dej
Archive for the ‘Clothes’ Category
The Wine Will Reveal Her True Self.
Father to young daughter in department store: I'm just going to get her a bottle of wine since I don't know what a coverup is.
Falls Church, Virginia
But All You Really Need Is Some Concealer and a Dream
Girl #1: So when is that thing you guys are doing?
Girl #2: Oh my god! You have to go! We're all going to get naked and walk around campus all day.
Girl #1: I honestly would, but I have tattoos in some really unconventional places.
Girl #2: Oh, I understand totally.
Chem Lab, William and Mary
Williamsburg, Virginia
I Didn’t Know They Made Thongs That Big
Male student: So, how’s your new roommate?
Female student: Well, she has one hundred thirty-three thongs.
Male student: She sounds like a horrible person.
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Or Breast Display Units
Manly hipster #1: She's been really into these half sweater type things lately.
Manly hipster #2: Yeah, they're called “shrugs”.
TOAD
Cambridge, Massachusetts
And Molded It Into the Shape Of a Little Man!
Girl #1: You know it really makes me sad that after all this time you still don't appreciate my art.
Girl #2: That isn't art, you found it in your underwear!
Amarillo, Texas
And a Tranquilizer Rifle
Guy on cell: Don't expect it to be as great as the last time we were in Malibu, though. Unless you bring your funny hat.
The Coffee Bean
Los Angeles, California
Why Undocumented Immigrant Surrogates Exist
Sloppily-dressed teen girl to another: Do you know how many new outfits I would have to buy to carry a baby around for nine months?
Sam Houston State University
Huntsville, Texas
They Don't Tell Me to Burn Things! I Swear!
Customer: Hi, I'd like to return these pants.
Store manager: Can I ask why?
Customer: The pants talk.
Store manager: (…)
Customer, frantically: I mean, they pop! They pop!
Burnsville, Minnesota
Overheard by: I had to return a pair of talking pants once too
Got My Own Personal Trail Of Tears Over Here
Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!
Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania