A Rare Spot­ting of the Tuft­ed Gay Hobo

Hobo: Hey, man, can you spare a quar­ter?
Suit: Sure. Here you go.
Hobo: Thanks. [Call­ing af­ter suit] I like your out­fit!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/

Over­heard by: rich

Thanks, Pres­i­dent Oba­ma!

White hip­ster to oth­ers: I’ve no­ticed the black kids in Harlem are start­ing to wear skin­ny jeans and skate­board. It’s great… ’cause it’s, like, cool to be smart again.

Mass­a­chus­setts

Un­de­served Sym­pa­thy Is Bet­ter Than Be­ing Ig­nored

Girl: I like wear­ing this hat be­cause it makes me look like a can­cer pa­tient.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/long-time-no-update.html

Over­heard by: wb

And a Tran­quil­iz­er Ri­fle

Guy on cell: Don’t ex­pect it to be as great as the last time we were in Mal­ibu, though. Un­less you bring your fun­ny hat.

The Cof­fee Bean
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Why Un­doc­u­ment­ed Im­mi­grant Sur­ro­gates Ex­ist

Slop­pi­ly-dressed teen girl to an­oth­er: Do you know how many new out­fits I would have to buy to car­ry a ba­by around for nine months?

Sam Hous­ton State Uni­ver­si­ty
Huntsville, Texas

They Don’t Tell Me to Burn Things! I Swear!

Cus­tomer: Hi, I’d like to re­turn these pants.
Store man­ag­er: Can I ask why?
Cus­tomer: The pants talk.
Store man­ag­er: (…)
Cus­tomer, fran­ti­cal­ly: I mean, they pop! They pop!

Burnsville, Min­neso­ta

Over­heard by: I had to re­turn a pair of talk­ing pants once too

Oh, Good, be­cause That’s What I’m Get­ting Him

Old la­dy: You know how it’s Jake’s* birth­day in a week or two? And you know how he likes black leather?
20-ish grand­daugh­ter, whis­per­ing: Grand­ma! You’re mak­ing him sound like a ho­mo­sex­u­al!
Old la­dy: Well, it’s not like I’m go­ing to get him ass­less chaps.

Ea­gle Ridge Hos­pi­tal
Co­quit­lam, Bris­tish Co­lum­bia
Cana­dia

…Ac­cord­ing to Miss Man­ners.

Girl #1: Oh, I like your jack­et.
Girl #2: Thanks, it’s not mine, Julie loaned it to me. Thank god she did, be­cause she puked on mine.
Girl #1: Is that why she loaned it to you?
Girl #2: No, I did­n’t tell her she puked on mine. It’s not re­al­ly cool to bring up stuff peo­ple did when they were hav­ing a seizure.

Cork
Ire­land

I’m Still Tast­ing Yes­ter­day’s

Crazy bag la­dy: Can I have that shirt? I’m all dirty and nasty.
Young guy: No, I need this for work.
Crazy bag la­dy: Oh. Can I shit in your mouth?
Young guy: Um, no.

Wash­ing­ton, DC

To Stand Out from Your Hus­band’s Oth­er Wives

Moth­er: That dress is cheap — cheap like the cig­a­rette car­toons in my moth­er’s freez­er.
Daugh­ter: It’s prom. You’re sup­posed to look cheap.

Salt Lake City, Utah