This Isn’t How “20 Questions” Is Played, Amber.

Girl #1, in stall: Have you ever had sex?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Oh. Does your classroom smell?

Delaware County Community College
Pennsylvania

I Have Someone Else Do It, But I Guide Their Hand

Muslim girl: I’m really emo, but you couldn’t tell from looking at me.
Other girl: Really?
Muslim girl: Yeah, but I don’t cut myself. Well, technically. It depends what you mean by cutting yourself.

University of Toronto
Toronto
Canadia

Just Lucky, I Guess

Girl: She has vagina legs.
Guy friend: How does she have vagina legs?

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

If You’ve Ever Waited Weeks for Grades, You’ll Understand the Applause

Professor, throwing exams on desk the day after taking them: I graded all of these. I want applause.
(class applauds)

UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

That’s Too Bad, He Was Such a Great Guy

Jock: Wait… Are you talking about Kim? I thought she was dating that guy.
Bimbette: Oh, you mean Fuck-face?
Jock: Yeah.
Bimbette: No, that’s over.

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

All Communications Majors Believe Perception Is Reality

Sorority girl #1: I may as well go around and sleep with all the people everyone thinks I’m sleeping with…
Sorority girl #2: I would *so* not judge you for that.

Bryant University
Smithfield, Rhode Island

He Feels Guilty When He Calls Things Hot Trannies Messes

Fashionista student: So is he like, Christian gay from project runway?
Oblivious teacher: No, he’s like Jewish gay.

American University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: I’m Jewish

But Fantastic That You’re Keeping That Cultural Reference Alive

History professor, lecturing on the early 1900s: I mean, the problem of being the only person with a telephone is, well, who you gonna call?
Class, as one: Ghostbusters!
History professor: You kids scare me.

CU
Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: They know their history, alright

Blood Feud– Gotcha

Birthday girl: Not to be mean, but I’m kind of glad Jeff* can’t come to my birthday party. Now I can invite Kelly*.
Friend: Why couldn’t you before? Not enough seats?
Birthday girl (long pause): No. Because Jeff’s brother got her sister pregnant.
Friend: Oh, yeah.

University of Notre Dame
Notre Dame, Indiana

Overheard by: iz

But I Like to Imagine They’re Like Little Pinatas

Girl studying with her friend: I love how you never learn about what’s inside a boob.
Friend: Yeah, that’s a shame.

Library
Arizona College

Overheard by: lura