Guy: When I went down on him, I realized he didn't shower.
Friend: Gross.
Guy: Yeah, I wasn't even gagging because of his dick, but because of his foul stench.
UC
Berkeley, California
Archive for the ‘Colleges & Universities’ Category
As Well As a Yumminess Thing
Black girl on one side: We look like an Oreo!
White girl in middle (jokingly): Oh, is that a race thing?
Black girl on the other side: Yes.
Outside Harvard Medical School
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Pythagoras Is a Jealous God, People
Math teacher: If you fuck with numbers, you're fucking with god! And people get killed for that shit! University of Miami, Florida Overheard by: Tormented Math Student
Sex with Livestock Is a Close Second.
Professor: Apparently nothin' says lovin' in Louisiana like carving your name into the Bonnie and Clyde monument. University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee Overheard by: darkhorse
Why Undocumented Immigrant Surrogates Exist
Sloppily-dressed teen girl to another: Do you know how many new outfits I would have to buy to carry a baby around for nine months?
Sam Houston State University
Huntsville, Texas
But If I Had to Make a Guess It Would Be “Pussy and Blow”
Professor: What did our founding fathers want? Who cares? They’re dead. Oberlin, Ohio Overheard by: Secret Spy
…By Lying
Guy #1: I was supposed to interview my grandma for my sociology project, but I didn't. I'm going to have to like, make up her life right now.
Guy #2: Why didn't you interview her?
Guy #1: Well, she lives in Oregon, and you know, the time change…
Guy #2: Dude, there's no time change from here to Oregon.
Guy #1: I know that, shut up! I'm trying to make myself feel better.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Beatrice
You’re Definitely a Man
Freshman boy #1: Are you a man now?
Freshman boy #2: Yeah.
Freshman boy #3: It was that fast?
Outside Beaver [all girl’s dorm], Denison University
Granville, Ohio
Overheard by: L. A. DiLalla
And Neither Could God
College student: So first my girlfriend and I split, then I got accepted into the frat, and then I found god…I couldn't handle spring break after that weekend.
Georgetown University
Washington, DC
With the Help of Her Lovely Assistant
Jewish student, about another: Every time we talk about the holocaust she, like, throws her Jew out and spins a dreidel with it or whatever.
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni