Male student: I feel that this case may have been influenced by the fact that…well, people just hate Michael Bolton.
Seton Hall Law School
South Orange, New Jersey
Overheard by: he's got a point
Archive for the ‘Colleges & Universities’ Category
I've Been Waiting for the Perfect Time to Share That with You.
Sorority girl #1: Are you gonna go?
Sorority girl #2: Like, I don't know. Like, I think I'm gonna go.
Sorority girl #3: Like, I think I'm gonna go, but like I don't know yet.
Sorority girl #2: Oh my god, like after I came back from Vegas, I gained some weight, so like I took Adderall for like two days!
UT
Austin, Texas
When Telepaths Mate
Old lady, walking up to old man: Hi there. Sorry I was just staring off at you. I had something on my mind and I think you were thinking it too. Bye!
Old man: Bye.
Sacred Heart University
Connecticut
Raise Your Hand If You Know a Football Player Who Died Of a Heart Attack or Stroke
Football player #1: What are you getting?
Football player #2: I think I'm gonna get four hot dogs.
Football player #1: Dude! You're only supposed to eat three a week! It's like…the sodium or something. Three hot dogs have all the sodium you're supposed to have in a week.
Football player #2: You're fucking retarded! I'm getting four hot dogs and I'm gonna eat all four of them in their sodium goodness. Watch me.
Dining Hall, Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Colleen
Ah Well, You Can Always Become President.
Professor: Isaac Newton, on his deathbed, was proud to announce that he was a virgin. So if any of you want to be famous scientists, you are going to have to be willing to make a few sacrifices.
Girl, raising hand: Um.
Professor: Oh, is it too late?
De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics
What Kind Of Ignorant People Would Do Something Like That?
College girl #1: Did you hear about that slavery thing?
College girl #2: No, like a real, live slavery thing?
College girl #1: Yeah! It's in Europe somewhere, like the Philippines.
Rock Valley College
Illinois
Exactly.
Communications major: What the hell is a palindrome?
English major: No, it isn't.
California State University
Fullerton, California
Overheard by: SixPackReich
The EMTs Can Just Pull Him Out From Under It
Preppy Asian chick on cell: I don't care if he's dying. I'm not going to move my car from a parking spot.
University of Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica
…And Then There's the Restrictitude of the Thong
Professor: So, first of all, there's the gigantitude of the bong…
North Central Michigan College
Overheard by: Maggie
Best. Quote Location. Ever.
Male roommate to another: Don't jump on me. I have a boner.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey