Sensitive soul: Why would I fuck you if you have a rash?
Dining Hall, Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York
Overheard by: Slightly amused but scared
Archive for the ‘Colleges & Universities’ Category
Also to Make Julienne Fries
Freshman #1: I really use a time machine.
Freshman #2: What for?
Freshman #1: Time travel, dumbass.
Northwestern University
Illinois
I Prefer to Think Of Them As My “Solar Panels”
(blind shuts in lounge area, blocking really bright sunshine, everybody quickly looks up)
Hot Chinese girl: Hey!
Friend: And finally they drop the blinds. My eyes were starting to hurt.
Hot Chinese girl: But I like the sunshine! It's so bright and warm and it emphasizes my boobs by casting shadows on my chest!
University of Toronto
Canadia
But I'm Not Sure the Koala Enjoys It
Male student #1: Man, you can't get pregnant doing that.
Male student #2: Oh.
Monash University
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Assilem
You Sure Those Were Judas's Last Words?
Professor: And he's like, “Jesus, I wish I was pagan!”
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
I'm Just a Trust, but Verify Kind Of Gal
College girl: Yeah, but I don't fuck my kids.
Friend: Well, you don't have any yet.
College girl, looking down: I can't believe I just checked my vagina before I answered that.
College Campus
SoCal, California
They Make “Ladies’ Weight” Guns, You Know
Drunk bimbette: We’re s’posed to be so ladylike… Why do girls have to be so ghetto and stab each other all the time?
York University
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: A and A
Unless It’s a Naughty Nurse
Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists… or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.
SUNY Geneseo
New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Or Maybe It Was White Men Can't Hunch?
Girl: I was watching this show the other night about large white British men who were sent to Africa to learn to hunt. It was called Fat Men Can't Hump. Wait! No! “Hunt”! It was called Fat Men Can't Hunt. Of course they can hump… If they want to.
Post-Colonial Literature Lecture
University of British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Martha Carscadden
And We're Almost Out of Birdseed
Preppy chick to friend: …and I was thinking of Puppy Chow for dessert tonight because, you know, it's easy to make.
Ohio State University
Overheard by: GameBoy Kid