Archive for the ‘Colleges & Universities’ Category

I've Been Waiting for the Perfect Time to Share That with You.

Sorority girl #1: Are you gonna go?
Sorority girl #2: Like, I don't know. Like, I think I'm gonna go.
Sorority girl #3: Like, I think I'm gonna go, but like I don't know yet.
Sorority girl #2: Oh my god, like after I came back from Vegas, I gained some weight, so like I took Adderall for like two days!

UT
Austin, Texas

Raise Your Hand If You Know a Football Player Who Died Of a Heart Attack or Stroke

Football player #1: What are you getting?
Football player #2: I think I'm gonna get four hot dogs.
Football player #1: Dude! You're only supposed to eat three a week! It's like…the sodium or something. Three hot dogs have all the sodium you're supposed to have in a week.
Football player #2: You're fucking retarded! I'm getting four hot dogs and I'm gonna eat all four of them in their sodium goodness. Watch me.

Dining Hall, Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Colleen

Ah Well, You Can Always Become President.

Professor: Isaac Newton, on his deathbed, was proud to announce that he was a virgin. So if any of you want to be famous scientists, you are going to have to be willing to make a few sacrifices.
Girl, raising hand: Um.
Professor: Oh, is it too late?

De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics