Drunk girl #1: I’m Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I’m Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)
Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado
Archive for the ‘Colorado’ Category
“Parties” Involve Group Sex
Yuppie blonde: So I told him, I was like, ‘Don’t call it a party, you know? Just say you’re getting drunk!‘
Yuppie brunette: Exactly.
24 Hour Fitness
Denver, Colorado
Now I Know How the Earth Feels
Girl: It seems like every time I see you these days, you’re being raped.
Guy: I know… And now I’m not even getting paid for it.
University of Northern Colorado
High School Cafeteria Goes Up in Flames, Population Scientists Say, “Excellent!”
Chick: Look, if you’re out sniper-ing hobos, it’s not assassination!
Boyfriend: Nope, it’s population control.
High school cafeteria
Englewood, Colorado
Toasting with Really Large Steins of Beer?
Lesbian to girlfriend: … That was back when I was dating this pharmacist and my sister-in-law decided to start this rumor that both of us were into this thing… [makes subtle fisting motion].
Elevator, Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Anybody Have Any Bread?
(student coughs violently into hands, spewing fake blood)
Lit professor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Student: (coughing up more blood) Can I go to the bathroom?
Lit professor: Oh my god, go, go!
(student leaves)
Lit professor: (realizing it’s April 1st) Haha… His consumption smells like raspberries.
Colorado University, Boulder
Overheard by: In the back of the classroom
He’s Gone So Many Places No Man Has Gone Before
Aging dork #1: I like Star Trek, but not Star Wars because they never pay attention to physics.
Aging dork #2: William Shatner is a pimp.
Peterson Air Force Base
Colorado
Can’t a Girl Do an Underwearless Can-Can Without Public Scrutiny?
Ghetto lady to two young boys: Stop lookin at my pussy!
20 Bus
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: nightfallcub
Can We Write a Theme Song About You with That Lyric?
Lady, bumping into female cop in crowded elevator: Oh! Excuse me.
Female cop: Hey, if my boobs don’t getcha, my ass will.
Justice Center
El Paso County, Colorado
Game, Set, Match
Flat-chested girl (grabbing box of energy bars): Here, get some of these for tomorrow.
Guy: I don’t know. Um… it says here that they’re for girls.
Flat-chested girl: Yeah, let’s get them.
Guy: But… Huh, well, haha, they’re not going to make me grow tits, are they?
Flat-chested girl, staring: Hasn’t worked for me.
Guy (putting box in carriage): Hm-mmm.
Safeway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
