Teen girl: I am so strung out on kittens right now, it’s not even funny.
High school classroom
Aurora, Colorado
Archive for the ‘Colorado’ Category
Stop Referring to Juicy Juice That Way, Sadie.
Little girl, seriously: This is what I like best about elevators. But it’s not the blood of Christ.
Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Game, Set, Match
Flat-chested girl (grabbing box of energy bars): Here, get some of these for tomorrow.
Guy: I don’t know. Um… it says here that they’re for girls.
Flat-chested girl: Yeah, let’s get them.
Guy: But… Huh, well, haha, they’re not going to make me grow tits, are they?
Flat-chested girl, staring: Hasn’t worked for me.
Guy (putting box in carriage): Hm-mmm.
Safeway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Are You Suggesting a Cause-and-Effect Relationship?
Hipster chick to friends: Speaking of pregnancy, who wants pizza?
Denver Art Museum
Colorado
That, and All the Hors D’Oeuvres Were Sprinkled with Lithium
Chick #1: But everyone was happy. It was a happy funeral.
Chick #2: Wow, your grandma must have been a real bitch.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
… I Tried Her with Mayo
Chick: Well, I was going to rub the peanut butter all over Maureen*, but that didn’t happen, so…
Gateway High School
Colorado
Overheard by: Pilbur
That’s a Description Best Saved for Molten Chocolate Cake
Chick #1: That’s the best episode of SpongeBob ever.
Chick #2: I knooow!
Chick #1: It’s like an orgasm!
Chick #2: No. (pause) No, it’s not.
Littleton, Colorado
And Stop Pulling the Pork!
(five-year-old boy is slapping and punching packages of beef and pork)
Father: Josh! Stop slapping the meat.
Bystander: (laughs out loud)
Father (hissing): No! Not that!
Safeway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Only with Two More X’s
Little girl: Mom, what’s a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!
Denver, Colorado
And Get Your Desks Out Of That V Formation
Teacher: Sit the fuck down and stop acting like a bird!
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
