Archive for the ‘Colorado’ Category

Toast­ing with Re­al­ly Large Steins of Beer?

Les­bian to girl­friend: … That was back when I was dat­ing this phar­ma­cist and my sis­ter-in-law de­cid­ed to start this ru­mor that both of us were in­to this thing… [makes sub­tle fist­ing mo­tion].

El­e­va­tor, Pen­rose Hos­pi­tal
Col­orado Springs, Col­orado

Any­body Have Any Bread?

(stu­dent coughs vi­o­lent­ly in­to hands, spew­ing fake blood)
Lit pro­fes­sor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Stu­dent: (cough­ing up more blood) Can I go to the bath­room?
Lit pro­fes­sor: Oh my god, go, go!
(stu­dent leaves)
Lit pro­fes­sor: (re­al­iz­ing it’s April 1st) Ha­ha… His con­sump­tion smells like rasp­ber­ries.

Col­orado Uni­ver­si­ty, Boul­der

Over­heard by: In the back of the class­room

Game, Set, Match

Flat-chest­ed girl (grab­bing box of en­er­gy bars): Here, get some of these for to­mor­row.
Guy: I don’t know. Um… it says here that they’re for girls.
Flat-chest­ed girl: Yeah, let’s get them.
Guy: But… Huh, well, ha­ha, they’re not go­ing to make me grow tits, are they?
Flat-chest­ed girl, star­ing: Has­n’t worked for me.
Guy (putting box in car­riage): Hm-mmm.

Col­orado Springs, Col­orado

There Were Com­plaints About My Moan­ing

Girl: My boobs are fun to play with.
Guy: You’re just now fig­ur­ing this out, af­ter 30-some years?
Girl: Hey, I haven’t had my boobs that long!
Guy: Okay, 20-some years?
Girl: No, I re­mem­ber dis­cov­er­ing they were fun in the 6th grade. I was in the mid­dle of class, though, so that was kind of awk­ward.

Den­ver, Col­orado