Person #1: What's that movie with Tom Hanks and the volleyball?
Person #2: Castaway.
Person #1: Oh, I'm so bored… You're like the volleyball to me. I don't necessarily like you, but you're there and I'm alone.
Guam
Archive for the ‘Compare and contrast’ Category
And at Least the Newport Jazz Festival Is Over in Three Days
Guy in suit: I said, “It’s better than a Chinese prison, you should be used to it by now.”
Memorial Union Bus Stop
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jo
I Warned Him That Jumping While Dark Was a Felony in These Parts
Yuppie: So then this guy jumped out wearing a ski mask and at first I laughed, but then I realized he was black!
Goshen, Indiana
Overheard by: Dej
Could You Leave Me Alone with This for a Few Minutes?
Drunk man to man holding rolled-up newspaper: There's a kind of phallic-ness about it, a sort of masculine quality…
The Ship Inn, Southbank
Brisbane
Australia
It's Even Worse in Chicago.
8th grade health teacher, answering why you can't put a condom on when you're not erect: So…um, when it's not hard, it's just like there, you know, flapping in the wind…
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: nice thought…
The More Absurd It Is, the Better. Like Christianity
Gym teacher, during stretches: If you do it this way, it makes it easier and also more challenging.
Henry Wise Wood High School
Calgary
Canadia
…With a Preference for Manila Sex
Out-of-towner: I like being paid in envelopes; it makes me feel like a prostitute.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jonathan
He's Been Known to Pleasure Several Girls en Brochette
Girl #1: His penis was huge, like 12 inches! He was holding it and his hand looked so tiny!
Girl #2: No wonder he doesn't get any play, that shit hurts!
Girl #3: Yeah, it would like come out my ass!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Just 2
I Like to Think Of It As Adding a Little More Magic to the Kingdom
Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that's the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!
The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida
A+
Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.
Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania