Customer: I’ll have a large hot chocolate, a chocolate glazed donut, and a plain bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese on the side.
Drive-thru grunt: What did you say for the cream cheese on the side?
Customer: Smoked salmon.
Drive-thru grunt: Oh, we don’t have that kind.
Customer: What kinds of cream cheese do you have?
Drive-thru grunt: We have chive. Chive is like smoked salmon.
Customer: Uh…yeah.
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: just wanted a coffee
Math teacher: Use the ratio test if you can expect to cancel out many many factors, like a happy schizophrenic child flailing his factor-canceling-crowbar.
Philippines
Physics professor, talking about static electricity: So why does it work when I’m sliding in a car with carpet seats wearing my wool sweater and not work when I’m sliding in a car with leather seats in my leather outfit?
Students: (shocked silence)
Professor: I mean…I don’t…ummmm, moving on…
University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana
Art professor: Say goodbye to sex and violence and hello to boring allegories.
KSU
Manhattan, Kansas
Really stoned girl: Oh god, my first relationship was horrible. It was just six weeks of me being scared of his genitals.
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Boffins
30-something black woman #1: The eye is superficial.
30-something black woman #2: Yeah, like 20-year-old white guys.
Community College
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Madison
Girl: Finally! I’m no longer a virgin anymore! And I did it with someone I love. I dunno if he loves me though.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/09/09/dont-worry-he-appreciated-it-too/
Overheard by: Ian
Middle aged lady in hospital scrubs: It’s a lot of fun and great exercise.
Old toothless lady: I really admire you, I don’t like to show off my fuzzy-fuzzy to just anyone.
Middle aged lady: Yeah, well, I don’t either, but like I said: it’s great exercise.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Karl
Hobo walking out of convenience store, tapping a pack of cigarettes to his hobo lady: I don’t need you anymore. I got cigarettes.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Matt
Girl on cell: It’s not that I don’t want to get wasted. I want to get wasted. I just don’t want to get fucked up, you know? So I’m not really sure what to do.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/414278088/look-not-drinking-my-weight-in-tequila-is-not-an-option-ok.html
Overheard by: I have that dilemma often
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
