Sorority chick, discussing Shroud of Turin: Jesus was 14 feet tall?
Philosophy of Religion Class, Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Archive for the ‘Compare and contrast’ Category
Philip Pullman: Goddamn It!
[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?
Great Escape Theater
Illinois
Overheard by: The Surly Usher
…That Woman Is Fi Fie Foe Fine!
Crew member to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are nothing. I mean, yeah, they can have their feminine touches, but if you want real weird, you need Angela.
Friend: Angela? She sounds nice!
Crew member: She’s head of security. She’s two meters tall, and you need to take a step back before you can identify her as a woman.
Friend: Surely she’s not that ugly?
Crew member: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!
Gent Jazz festival
Belgium
Actually…
Psychology instructor: If you look at the castle in The Little Mermaid, you’ll see there are some phallic subliminal messages…
Student in the back row: It’s a giant penis castle!
Psychology Class, Northwestern University
Illinois
A Nun Wouldn’t Marry Some Prick, Honey
Little girl, pointing to picture of Jesus on card: Who’s that?
Babysitter: Well, that’s Jesus.
Little girl: Oh… He looks like a nice guy.
Bellevue, Washington
One Of the Reasons We Came to Thailand.
Girl #1, looking at picture: Oh my gosh! Look, the first aider is totally judging her. If I was passed out from crack, I would so not wanna be judged.
Girl #2: Oh, I know, totally!
Thailand
Straight Men: Dammit, You Guys Ruin Everything!
Gay sports fan to table of gay sports fans, while watching Packers game: So, are you a packer or a packee?
Washington, DC
Is the Moral of the Ant and Grasshopper Story
Lecturer: People who are happy, hopeful, and relaxed… are a pain in the ass.
Auckland
New Zealand
That’s a Description Best Saved for Molten Chocolate Cake
Chick #1: That’s the best episode of SpongeBob ever.
Chick #2: I knooow!
Chick #1: It’s like an orgasm!
Chick #2: No. (pause) No, it’s not.
Littleton, Colorado
The Prelude to This Season’s Greatest Love Story
Hobo sitting on sidewalk: Hey, can you spare some change?
Student: Sorry, man. I’m as broke as you right now.
Hobo: Grab a seat.
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
