Archive for the ‘Compliments’ Category

Trans­la­tion: “Wel­come to New York, Mutha­fuck­aaaas.”

MTA work­er to tourist mom buy­ing tick­ets with daugh­ter: 10 dol­lars.
Mom: Oh, but she’s a stu­dent.
Work­er, look­ing at daugh­ter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dol­lars please.

Sub­way Sta­tion
New York City, New York

Over­heard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom

So Maybe She Need­ed Out-of-This-World Sex

Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She has­n’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five sec­onds out of your day to see how I’m do­ing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.

Barnes & No­ble
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Hobo