Cashier: Do you want a bag for those?
Man buying condoms: No, I want to wear them home.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: C
Archive for the ‘Condoms’ Category
We Had No Idea What They Were, Either.
Short girl: So, what do you do with the pen cap condoms?
Much taller girl: Okay, you take them…and you throw them out.
Short girl: You don’t like…reuse them or something?
Much taller girl, smiling: Do you reuse normal condoms?
(short girl laughs)
Much taller girl, seriously: Don’t just wash those and reuse them.
Onteora HS
Boiceville, New York
Overheard by: Toasted
The Polaroids Scattered Around the Kitchen
Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, ‘You’ve been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!‘
Girl #1: … So, how did she find out?
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Addison
The Large Group Ones Are a Logistical Nightmare
Peer-taught health class leader: Small group condom practice! Wooot!
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
It’s Even Worse in Chicago.
8th grade health teacher, answering why you can’t put a condom on when you’re not erect: So…um, when it’s not hard, it’s just like there, you know, flapping in the wind…
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: nice thought…
…Where No One Knows My Identity.
Guy to friends: I use condoms in town, but skeet out of town.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Eve’s dropper
With Just a Hint Of Chlamydia
Drunken teenage girl, dancing down the street: I taste like fucking condoms!
Toronto, Canadia
She Also Found Fifty Cents, a Rubber Band, and a Playbill from Cats
(during a film in a movie theater)
Girl #1 (whispering): Ow, something’s itching me–I think there’s something in my bra. (gasps) Oh my god!
Girl #2: What is it!?
Girl #1: I just found a condom in my bra and I think it was from last night but I don’t remember putting it there!
Ontario
Canadia
Evidence That Sex and the City Would’ve Been a *Lot* More Interesting If It Had Involved Plus-Sized Sistahs
Plus-size sistah: And that damn condom came off!
Friend: Oh, shit, girl! What happened?
Plus-size sistah: I dunno. It’s still up in there.
Friend: What? How long?
Plus-size sistah: It’s been three days. I can’t reach that bitch!
Friend: Girl! That’s nasty! And if you askin’ what I think you askin’, you can forget it!
Restaurant, Chinatown
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Joe
By the End Of This Class, You’ll Be Able to Open Them With Your Penis
Peer-taught health class leader: Do not open condoms with a knife.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
